Cancelling a Rehearsal Dinner

Canceling in a timely and polite manner is the best way to handle this awkward situation.

Weddings come with a boatload of etiquette standards, including thank you cards, seating and the like. Rehearsal dinners also have their own set of standards on matters such as toasts and who picks up the tab. Another realm of rehearsal dinner etiquette involves cancellation. Whether the wedding is off or postponed, or you simply don't want to have the dinner anymore, there are certain ways to go about letting your guests and vendors know the meal will not take place. Maintaining proper etiquette can help your guests better understand the situation.

Instructions

1. Call your guests as soon as you know the rehearsal dinner is canceled. Let them know you appreciate their generosity of opening their schedules to attend your dinner, and you are very sorry for any inconvenience. Whether you want to get into the details of the cancellation is up to you. If you feel comfortable letting your guests know the reasoning, you can tell them why. However, refrain from talking negatively about anyone. If you don't want to give out that information, don't mention it.

2. Send letters to those you are unable to get in touch with through the phone. Simply write that you regret to inform them that the dinner is no longer taking place, but you appreciate their efforts of planning to attend. Again, it is your choice as to whether you want to include the reasoning, so long as it leaves everyone in a positive light. You can also ask your friends and family to respect your privacy on the matter if you don't want to talk about it. If mailing a letter isn't an option due to time restraints, send an email. Although an email is slightly less personal, your guests will likely appreciate your efforts of reaching them in a timely manner.

3. Contact the venue where the dinner was to take place as soon as possible. Call or visit the establishment and explain to the manager that the dinner isn't in the works anymore. Inquire about getting your money back, although some venues may decline reimbursement. Check your contract to see if there are any stipulations about receiving your money back.

Tips & Warnings

• Offer to reimburse anyone who helped pay for the dinner. Although they may decline, it is polite to offer to pay them back. Additionally, return any engagement gifts that were given to you if the wedding itself is called off.

References

• Forbes; How to Cancel a Wedding; Marcy Blum; June 2008
• Washington DC Weddings: How to Cancel a Wedding