How to Make a Relationship Work & Stop the Fighting

Avoid allowing problems to build up.

A healthy relationship should provide happiness and a sense of esteem. Getting there takes work and commitment from both parties. If you and your partner are starting to fight, it may be time to get back to the basics: communication, compromise and trust. Once you re-establish the basics, you and your partner will be ready to make the most of your relationship.

Instructions

1. Speak up when something is bothering you. Don’t just let problems fester because they are likely to come up again. Simple problems often can be worked out if you just let your significant other know what is wrong.

2. Listen effectively when communicating with your partner. Effective communication is essential in any healthy relationship. When communicating with your partner, summarize her arguments every few minutes to ensure that you are listening and understand what she is saying.

3. Learn to calmly communicate disagreements. Find a way to argue with your partner in a respectful manner. Practice different ways to disagree. For example, instead of confronting your partner directly when you’re upset, write him a letter expressing your anger.

4. Take responsibility for wrongdoings. When you make a mistake, admit you messed up. Don’t shift blame from one party to the other. Instead of worrying about blame, focus on the source of the disagreement.

5. Go on regular dates. Sometimes arguments are caused by boredom. Revive the passion in your relationship by enjoying the occasional day together. Make an agreement with your partner not to bring up any topics that you tend to argue about while you are on your date.

6. Take and allow personal time when necessary. Spending time with your partner is important, but alone time is just as essential. Invest in personal hobbies and interests and allow your partner to do the same.

7. Forgive large issues; forget the small things. Learn to forgive your partner when he does something wrong. Don’t dwell on small irritations; doing so can make the problem seem worse than it is.

8. Appreciate your partner. Focus on the things you love about him. When you are feeling doubt, think about your partner’s attractive traits. Show your appreciation when your partner does something that makes you happy.

9. Don’t ask for the impossible. Don’t make unreasonable expectations. If your partner has never been a neat person, don’t expect him to change overnight just because you want him to. Instead, set realistic goals and make requests that both parties can live with.

10. Know your own habits. Know what makes you happy and what makes you angry. Communicate your personal habits to your partner so he knows how to approach you.

References

• 911 Relationship Advice: 5 Tips On How to Make a Relationship Work
• Oprah; How to Pull the Plug on Your Same Old Fight; Martha Beck; 2011
• Web MD; How to Stop Fighting: Tips for Married Couples; Diane Lore
• 911 Relationship Advice; How to Make a Relationship Work; Mark Sichel
• Get Back My Girlfriend: How to Make a Relationship Work
• Self Growth: How to Stop Fighting in Your Relationship
• Romantic Love Tips: How to Stop Fighting in a Relationship