How to Counter Being Shy

Practice complimenting several strangers every day.

A shy personality may be a biologically inherited, or it may stem from elements of and events in your childhood. No matter that cause of your introverted tendencies, there are strategies you can adapt to break the silence act. Once you are more familiar with socializing, you may find it easier to expand your circle of friends and embrace new opportunities in your work and love life.

Instructions

1. Give yourself a pep talk while looking in the mirror. During this session, list the things you like best about your personality. Remind yourself that when you are quiet, you’re hiding these attractive traits from others. Make this self-confidence booster part of your morning routine.

2. Challenge yourself to speak to three strangers every day. Early on, you don’t need to have full blown conversations — a simple greeting or compliment is a good start. After you become more at ease, challenge yourself to talk to more strangers per day, or attempt to carry on longer conversations.

3. Practice maintaining eye contact during conversations. Not only will you appear more confident, but you will feel empowered. Be careful not to stare. Keep a relaxed but interested gaze. In addition to your eye contact, be aware of the rest of your body language. Avoid closed gestures, such as folding your arms across your chest or hiding your hands in your pockets; these habits may reinforce your introverted tendencies.

4. Prepare conversation starters before you go to a social event. You can gather these topics from numerous media sources, but ensure that the subject matches the social setting. For example, don’t bring up a heavy political issue if you’re enjoying a pool party with friends.

5. Focus on the other person. If you feel nervous during a conversation, you can overcome your self-consciousness by focusing on the other person. Ask her questions as you warm up to the situation. However, don’t expect her to carry the entire conversation in the end.

References

• Psychology Today: Shedding Shyness
• American Psychological Association: Painful Shyness