How to Make Life Work When Living Apart

Love and support one another even during uncertain times.

A long-distance relationship is very hard to sustain. Unfortunately, because of job relocation or education advancement, couples sometimes find living apart unavoidable. It is even harder when you have small children. Communication, scheduling and constant support will be essential when family live apart. Couples should also keep a positive attitude towards living apart and find ways to reunite as soon as possible. This experience will strengthen your relationship with your family.

Instructions

1. Communicate. Make use of email, phone, Internet chat, video conferencing and text messages to communicate with each other. Since you do not see each other, it is very important for you both to feel that you are still around and care about one another. Chat about news at your workplace, school or neighborhood. For example, you can talk about your new friends and colleagues and events happening in your new town. Celebrate the good news. However, do not exaggerate problems you encounter during the day.

2. Seek opportunities to reunite. Schedule vacation days so that the family can reunite. If you have children, try to schedule the vacation days before or after a long weekend or during the breaks. Find employment in the same city or state. If the distance is not too long, arrange alternate weekend commute during the weekend. If your job requires you to attend conferences, try to arrange these conferences to be at your spouse's location.

3. Stay positive. Believe that living apart is only temporary and this experience will strengthen your relationship with one another. Remember the good time being together and embrace the difficult moments that you are going through. Put photos of the family around the house. Send a postcard, flowers or any nice gesture to one another for support. Be optimistic.

4. If you are religious, pray for each other with each other. There is an old saying "Pray together, stay together." Find a time during a day to pray together. It can be done over the phone. If you are not used to praying together, do it separately before you go to bed or before you go to work in the morning. You can pray for each other's health, strength of living apart and opportunities of reunion. You can also be grateful for job opportunities and courtship across the miles. Be sincere. The more you practice praying, the easier it will be for you two to manage this relationship apart.

References

• ABC News; Recession Marriage Trend: Living Apart; Michelle Goodman; July 2009
• Boston College Sloan Work and Family; Mary Holms Research Network; Commuter Couples and Distance Relationships: Living Apart Together (2009); Mary Holmes; April 2009
• Huffingtonpost.com; Couples Who Pray Together Really Do Stay Together, Study Finds; Adelle M. Banks; March 2011
• foryourmarriage.org; Prayers and Blessings