How to Deal With the Silent Treatment in Marriages
If your spouse gives you the silent treatment after an argument, it may be the result of a marriage that has reached a point where one party feels there is nothing left to say. While there may not be a simple fix for the silent treatment in a marriage, making an effort to fix the underlying issue is key to reopening the lines of communication.
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Instructions
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Address the issue as soon as possible. Many couples engage in the silent treatment as a way to cool off. Yet according to marriage counselor Cyndi Sarnoff-Ross, the idea that it represents a cooling-off is a rationalization that distracts couples from the detrimental long-term effect of the silence. If you feel there's a chance you've done something wrong you aren't aware of, ask your spouse if that's so. There's a chance something is on your spouse's mind and you may be able to help. If you find out you've done something wrong, your spouse may give you a chance to defend yourself.
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Talk with your spouse about the issue causing the silent treatment. Open the door for a two-way communication. Listen to your spouse's side without interrupting. When it's your turn to speak, state your case without being aggressive or pointing fingers. Explain to your spouse that you aren't comfortable with the silent treatment and you want to clear the air so you're back on speaking terms.
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Seek counseling with a qualified marriage counselor if the silent treatment extends for any length of time. Silence for two or three hours, maybe even a day, after an argument can be expected. Silence that happens frequently or lasts for long periods of time may be a sign of a marriage that is in need of outside help.
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