How to Deal With an Insensitive Husband

If you want your marriage to last, deal with problems as they come along.

When you say you have to "deal with" something, it usually means you've accepted it and want to live with it. If you're married and feel your husband is insensitive to your needs or the needs and emotions of others in general but you don't want to end the marriage, there are ways to cope and maneuver through daily life. Still, it is important to think and examine why you feel the need to "deal with" an insensitive husband, and why you don't consider divorce an option. Often, there are solutions to this problem with help from friends or local support groups.

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Instructions

- 1
  
  Define the problem. When you are alone, sit down with a pen and paper and write down why you think your husband is insensitive. What does it mean to be insensitive? What examples come to mind? Be clear and honest and write everything down. This will help make things clear in your mind and will enable you to articulate yourself better in the future.
- 2
  
  Recognize what your pattern has been when it comes to reacting to your husband's insensitivity. Have you done nothing? Or have you argued with him, pleaded with him or physically fought with him? Have you resorted to drug use or other harmful coping mechanisms? Have you cheated? Be honest with yourself and recognize what your pattern of reaction has been when it comes to your husband's behavior.
- 3
  
  Change your behavior since you cannot change someone else's. If in the past you had said nothing to your husband when he behaved insensitively, start saying something. Do not be argumentative. Simply state calmly how you feel and why. You might even write it down in a letter and read it to him. If in the past you had been confrontational, try remaining calm instead and listening to your husband, however insensitive he may be. By changing your reaction, you may cause him to deal with you differently. Try new things and see where it takes you. Always remain calm and honest.
- 4
  
  Seek marriage counseling with your husband. If he is unwilling to go with you, seek counseling alone. A professional can help you sort out your feelings and develop a plan of action. Often, just talking to a close friend can help, too.