How to Not Give the Wrong Signals Through Body Language

Body language can send an even bigger message than the words you speak.

Communication is made up of more than just words. Body language is a significant part of the message you convey -- sometimes even the biggest part. It can be easy to mistakenly send the wrong message with body language. This can be due to ignorance of the way certain signals or gestures are perceived or simply a lack of self awareness. Fortunately, learning about body language signals can help you understand how to send the right signals.

Instructions

1. Be mindful of your body language. You may be sending the wrong signal without even realizing it. Pay attention to what your body naturally does when you're talking to people and try to determine what body language you are using. For example, you might naturally purse your lips or have a stern expression. You might not feel angry or aggressive, but other people might easily perceive you that way.

2. Adjust your body language when you realize you might be sending the wrong signal. Think about what message you want to send and try to emulate that kind of body language instead. For instance, if you notice you are looking around a lot while someone's talking to you, you may be sending the signal that you're not focused on the conversation. Adjust your body language to send the right signal by making eye contact and nodding appropriately.

3. Practice using appropriate body language. Continue being mindful of your body language and adjust when necessary. Over time, sending the right message with your body language will come more naturally to you.

Tips & Warnings

• Learn about different types of body language so you can understand what messages you're sending more easily and so you know how to convey the message you want to send.

• Study other people's body language to better understand it. Seeing how other people use nonverbal communication and taking note of how you understand their signals will help you better understand the message you're sending with your body language.

• People can perceive the same body language differently. This can be due to their personality. For example, some people need more personal space to feel comfortable than others. It can also depend on your relationship to that person -- the body language that you use when you're talking to a lifelong friend is probably different than what's appropriate when you're talking to your boss. Even cultural differences can affect how people perceive body language.

References

• Pick The Brain: Is Your Body Language Sending The Wrong Signals?
• Changing Minds: Attentive Body Language
• Changing Minds: Aggressive Body Language

Resources

• Changing Minds: Using Body Language
• myLifetime: Is Your Body Language Saying the Wrong Thing?