How to Honor Your Parents at a Wedding Ceremony

Keep some plans secret until the wedding day.

As you form a new family with your spouse, honoring your parents at your wedding ceremony shows them that they’re still an important part of your life. Honoring both sets of parents in front of all your friends and family makes a public statement about your love for them. While you may each have a different kind of relationship with your parents, it's important that you both agree to honor them in the same way during your ceremony, so one set of parents won’t feel hurt by being left out.

Things You'll Need

• Cuff links or jewelry
• Corsage
• Boutonniere
• Matches
• 2 taper candles
• Pillar candle

Instructions

1. Write a few sentences about your parents to include in the program. These words can be as simple as, “Amy wishes to thank her parents for their constant love and support” or can be longer and explain in detail why you’re grateful to have them there on your special day. Once you and your fiance have each written something about your parents, include these lines on the last page of the program.

2. Incorporate some of your parents’ belongings in your wedding attire. The groom can wear his father’s cufflinks or carry his mother’s handkerchief in his pocket, while the bride can wear her mother’s jewelry or veil, and pin her father’s cufflinks to her dress or bouquet. Honor your parents by wearing items that they have given you, such as a pocket watch or jewelry.

3. Give your parents flowers just before the ceremony. Place a corsage on your mother’s wrist and pin a boutonniere to your father’s lapel. Use flowers that match your wedding flowers so your parents are clearly part of the wedding party.

4. Walk down the aisle to the same song that your parents used walked down the aisle. Choose a different version or arrangement if you wish.

5. Invite both sets of parents to participate in the ceremony by lighting a unity candle. Ask the officiant to call up your parents toward the middle of the ceremony. Have each pair light one taper candle together. Use the two flames to light one larger candle simultaneously to symbolize the joining of your two families.

References

• "The Knot": Wedding Family Matters -- Honoring a Deceased Parent at a Wedding?
• Martha Stewart Weddings: Meaningful Roles for Parents