How to Establish Boundaries with Parents in School

Keeping an open line of communication helps maintain boundaries.

It’s not always the students who can make teaching a difficult profession. While teaching the minds of tomorrow is often rewarding, dealing with parents that overstep their boundaries can take away your feeling of accomplishment and passion for teaching. Guiding parents in the right direction and establishing contact guidelines puts you in more control of the situation while also eliminating miscommunication between you and the parents.

Instructions

1. Establish boundaries between you and your student’s parents early in the school year. Create a handout that outlines your contact information, as well as contact times. Make it clear that you only answer emails and phone calls during indicated blocks of time unless it is an emergency.

2. Discuss contact strategies with parents during back-to-school night or parent-teacher conferences. Tell the parents that any problems they would like to discuss must be scheduled for a sit-down meeting. Scheduling sit-down meetings prevents the parents from abusing other contact options such as email or calling.

3. Encourage parents to discuss home problems that may affect their children at school. Also encourage discussions about schoolwork and student progress. Make yourself available to the parents but keep your boundaries established.

4. Involve your principal and school counselor in situations you feel are out of your hands. Schedule meetings that involve not only you and the parent but the principal and counselor, as well. Including your colleagues in meetings with overbearing or difficult parents gives you and the parent a different perspective of the situation. Together, you can reach a solution after hearing opinions from the principal and counselor.

5. Maintain weekly contact with parents through a class newsletter or mass email. Keep your students' parents up to date on tests, homework and other happenings in your classroom by sending out an email at the end of the week or beginning of the week. At the end of the email, add that if any parents have any issues with the upcoming or past weeks' events, they can contact you during your scheduled office hours.

Tips & Warnings

• Touching base with parents is key in maintaining boundaries. When you keep parents informed about your lesson plans and activities in the classroom, it establishes a better understanding about classwork.

• Along with your contact handout, include a list of classroom rules and expectations. If parents do not show up to back-to-school night, conferences or orientation, send the handouts home with the students or require that the parents provide contact information so you can email the guidelines or inform the parent over the phone.

• Maintain positive contact with parents as well. When a student does exceptionally well, contact the parents and let them know. If a struggling student does well on a project or assignment, tell the parents.

• Keep documentation of contact with your students' parents by saving emails and notes.

• Do not let parents bully you. Firmly establish your boundaries and do not stray from them unless absolutely necessary.

References

• Inspiring Teachers: Tips—Dealing with Difficult Parents
• Jane Bluestein: Dealing Successfully with Your Students’ Parents

Resources

• Time Magazine: The Growing Backlash Against Overparenting