How to Help Daughters Build Relationships With Their Mothers
Many moms desire a strong relationship with their daughters. They want to share feelings, experiences and show their daughters they’re not just disciplinarians, but sources of love and guidance. However, some daughters need pushing to follow through on their mothers’ wishes. They need to learn what their moms do for them and why they should also desire a close relationship. Through suggestions, you can help a daughter build a relationship with her mom.
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Instructions
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Mention the importance of a strong mother-daughter relationship, not just in the present, but in the future too. Give examples and remind the daughter how mother-daughter relationships are beneficial. Mothers provide guidance, help, unconditional love and support. Daughters do the same and this increases as mothers age. If you know the mother and/or daughter well, mention specific instances where they've helped each other, such as the mother taking care of the daughter when she was sick or the daughter helping the mother prepare food for a large Thanksgiving feast.
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Urge the daughter to recognize what her mom does for her. It can be easy to take what mom does for granted. Urge the daughter to make a list of all the things her mom does, such as: homework help, providing rides, buying clothes and school supplies, making meals and offering a sympathetic ear whenever the daughter has a problem or concern.
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Suggest the daughter and mom pinpoint similar interests, which bring them closer together. Examples include: sports, a type of movie, a type of music, cooking, gardening and other hobbies. If there is an interest that the mother and daughter enjoy, they can find common ground, which builds a positive relationship.
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Encourage the mother and daughter to do activities together, whether it’s a similar interest, an interest only one person has or an everyday activity, such as getting groceries. Doing things together improves relationships, as conversation happens and each person learns about the other. Some activities create teamwork which also strengthens relationships. An example is canoeing, where both people must work together to control the canoe as it glides down the river.
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Suggest the mother and daughter openly express their feelings to each other. Openness builds relationships and trust. If the daughter feels she can share secrets with the mother and that the mother won’t tell others, she’ll think of her mom as a confidante. Likewise, the mother can share feelings and experiences she had when she was her daughter’s age. It brings a daughter closer to her mother when she learns her mom had the same struggles, concerns and apprehensions when her mom was her age.
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Tell the mother and daughter to pick a comfortable balance for their relationship. They don’t have to spend time together everyday or reveal every deep, dark secret, but should strike a balance where each person feels happy with the relationship. Examples include: talking on the phone at least once a week, Friday night dinner time or tennis games a couple of afternoons per week.
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