How to Try to Build a Friendship in a Relationship

Spending time together builds friendship in relationships.

A relationship that began with passion and fire may burn out if a strong friendship is not present. Conversely, some relationships begin as a great friendship but find that the pressures of life cause that strong friendship to falter. Building or re-building a friendship in a relationship can be challenging and requires patience, flexibility and willingness from both partners. Communication, compassion and connection are key in strengthening relationships and building a firm friendship that exists outside of romance.

Instructions

1. Communicate freely and openly with your partner. Trust is a key component in any relationship, be it platonic or romantic, and having an open dialogue where communications are respected and kept private is integral to building trust. Communication is also important for resolving conflicts; no partner is a mind-reader, and if disappointments and concerns are not discussed then your issues will never be resolved.

   Choose a time once a week where you and your partner can meet for coffee or dinner and have honest, thoughtful conversations. Put aside the romance for an afternoon and communicate your needs, wants and worries for the week. Give your partner ample time to share his concerns as well, and truly listen to what he says. Clear and compassionate communication will build trust, resolve conflicts and lay the base for friendship.

2. Seek moments of intellectual, emotional and social connection with your partner throughout your day. Asking if he's read a particular story in the morning paper, sharing a song that you heard on the morning drive to work or simply asking if you can get him anything while you're in the kitchen creates moments of friendly connection. These moments communicate that you see your partner and want to share the experience of life with him. Engaging his thoughts on the events of the world or happenings in your community telegraphs that you are curious about his perspective and value his opinions. Intellectual, emotional and social connections have little to do with romance; they build your respect for each other and deepen your knowledge of your partner.

3. Spend a day having good, old-fashioned fun. When couples in relationships begin dating, it often takes several dates before their first hand-holding or kiss. Those dates are spent learning about each other and creating new memories together. For one day put aside the worries of finances or the pressures of romance and take time to enjoy each other's company. Go on a hike through a local wilderness trail, spend a day at a carnival or county fair or pack a lunch and picnic at the park. Avoid films or concerts; your time together should help you connect and communicate, which is difficult to do in crowded, noisy venues. Creating new experiences together will draw you closer as friends and strengthen your relationship.

References

• Think Simple Now; How to Build Intimacy in Any Relationship; Tina Su
• The University of Texas at Austin: Building a Healthy Relationship from the Start
• A Chance for Change Counseling; Want a Good Marriage? Then Build a Great Friendship; Kathy Radina