How to Handle a Confrontational Roommate

Take the hassle out of living with a confrontational roommate.

Living with a roommate is very common for college students and renters looking to cut costs. Unfortunately, not all roommate situations are ideal, and some people find themselves living with confrontational roommates. If you've found yourself in such a situation, there are a number of approaches you can take to improve your relationship with a roommates who's difficult to live with. So, the next time you find yourself at odds with your roomie, make sure you're well prepared.

Instructions

1. Avoid taking your roommate's complaints or accusations personally. Oftentimes, confrontational roommates are combative individuals by nature and will engage in the same type of argumentative behavior regardless of who they happen to be living with. By not personalizing your roommate's attacks, you are less likely to react to them with anger.

2. Divide chores and responsibilities up evenly. Sit down with your roomie and write out a list of chores and who is responsible for them. This is particularly important when dealing with roommates who are sticklers for order and cleanliness. If you and your roomie know exactly which chores you're expected to do, the latter will have no excuse for unexpectedly unloading household responsibilities on you.

3. Keep noise pollution to a minimum. To placate roommates who value peace and quiet, don't watch television, listen to music or play video games at high volumes. In addition, don't host loud get-togethers that continue into the wee hours of the morning. If your roomie is easily irritated by loud noise, she's sure to appreciate your consideration.

4. Show your roommate appreciation on a regular basis. If your roommate is irritable as a result of self-esteem issues, make a point of periodically letting him know how much you appreciate how diligently he adheres to the chore list and keeps up with the rent.

5. Respect your roommate's personal property. If your roommate is very territorial and protective of her possessions, never touch any of her belongings without permission. Additionally, if you and your roommate have separate bedrooms, don't set foot in her room unless you've been given permission to do so.

Tips & Warnings

• Instead of letting hostility brew, promptly discuss any problems you have with your roommate in a calm manner.

References

• Stanford University; Student Housing: Living with a Roommate; 2009
• Winona State University: Roommate Conflicts: A Three-Pronged Approach
• Daily Sundial; Dealing with Rude Roommates in the Dorms; Ernesto Gonzalez; August 2011