How to Deal With a Procrastinating Partner

For a chronic procrastinator, stress, delays and missed deadlines can seem normal.

When faced with an unpleasant job, it's natural to procrastinate. Putting off small tasks is often harmless, but delaying major projects until the last minute causes increased stress, subpar work and even financial losses. When you are in a committed relationship with a chronic procrastinator, these issues affect your emotional well-being. If your partner's procrastination has become a problem, address the issue immediately to prevent further damage to yourself.

Instructions

1. Communicate the problem clearly. Your partner may not realize the pattern of procrastination that is frustrating you. Use concrete examples, such as delayed doctor's appointments or late-night cram sessions, to illustrate your concerns. Speak in "I feel" statements to explain how the procrastination affects you without being accusatory.

2. Help your partner create to-do lists and schedules. Mentally acknowledging the tasks that need to be done will keep an avoiding or forgetful procrastinator from ignoring them. The physical sensation of crossing out completed items provides positive feedback and motivation.

3. Offer to improve your own time management. Most people could stand to improve their work ethic and planning, even if they do not suffer major problems from procrastination. Embark on the journey of organization together to alleviate feelings of guilt or resentment in your partner.

4. Create a clean, distraction-free area. Offer to help your partner tidy up and organize his work or living space. Physical organization can help kick-start the process of mental organization and eliminate procrastination.

5. Suggest seeking professional guidance. A psychologist or time management counselor can help identify the underlying causes of procrastination and offer productive strategies for eliminating it. Advice and help from an outside source may be easier for your partner to implement.

Tips & Warnings

• Be flexible with your expectations. Perfect timeliness is an unrealistic standard, so express happiness with improvement and effort.

• Avoid nagging your partner constantly about her procrastination. Though you may feel this is necessary, she may become annoyed, resentful and even less likely to complete tasks.

References

• Kansas State University: Procrastination
• The Naomi Show; Is Procrastination Ruining Your Relationship?; Vesna Grubacevic
• Reed College: Helping Students With Procrastination
• University at Buffalo: Overcoming Procrastination

Resources

• Web MD; Second-Hand Procrastination; Timothy A. Pychyl; March 2009