How to Deal With Bossy Relatives During Wedding Planning

Set boundaries with relatives before their bossiness takes over.

From jealous sisters to divorced parents who can’t stop arguing, brides and grooms face plenty of bossy relatives as they prepare to walk down the aisle. Everyone feels like they know the best way to do something -- and relatives won't hesitate to impart their own “wisdom.” Accepting that family stress is going to be part of wedding planning means that couples can factor in stress management to the planning checklist. Preparation includes setting boundaries before problems arise … and booking regular massages and date nights months ahead of time.

Instructions

1. Discuss boundaries that need to be set, and do so as early as possible. There are certain areas of wedding planning that brides and grooms feel are non-negotiable. While the bride may ask for advice when it comes to her gown, the couple may feel very strongly about the location of the ceremony. Knowing when to cave and when to lay down the law will reduce stress.

2. Accept that you will receive a certain amount of unsolicited advice, horror stories and suggestions that are unwarranted and unhelpful. However, the more times the couple is able to stay quiet, smile and nod, the less conflict will arise. Bossy relatives will also quickly shut their mouths during the moments when the couple makes it clear that they don’t need any help planning.

3. Talk to family members to figure out where the bossiness is coming from. Getting to the bottom of the issue may help ease some of the tension. For example, your older sister may not be trying to annoy you and control your wedding plans; instead, she may be having difficulty accepting the fact that she’s not engaged herself and living vicariously through your wedding planning.

4. Reassure relatives that marrying someone of a different religion doesn’t mean abandoning your own. Religion can be a hot-button issue and one that relatives feel they have the right to poke their noses into. Explain how much both religions will be valued in the relationship, or be upfront and honest if the decision has been for one person to convert.

5. Listen to what close relatives have to say. Instead of acting immediately defensive, it may actually help to listen to the advice that people who have been through weddings and marriage have to offer. If people see that the engaged couple aren’t entirely closed off to recommendations, they’ll be more likely to back off when the couple puts their foot down.

References

• The Knot: Interfaith Weddings, Dealing With the Family
• Bridal Guide; How to Deal with Family Issues; Rebecca Gardyn
• Two of Us: Newly Engaged? Get Ready for an Emotional Roller Coaster Ride