How to Help Preschoolers Cope With Embarrassment

Embarrassment is a sign your preschooler is growing up.

When your preschooler starts to experience embarrassment, it is actually a sign that she is growing up and developing self-awareness. Your child may start to become uncomfortable with attention from certain people, namely strangers, or when she is in certain situations. You will want to do all you can to help your child cope with this emotion while assuring her it is normal and okay to feel embarrassed sometimes.

Instructions

1. Give the emotion a name. Explain to your child that when he is feeling this way it means he is feeling embarrassed. Giving the emotion a name helps your child to ask for help in dealing with it when he needs to.

2. Explain to your child what being embarrassed means. Tell your preschooler that to be embarrassed means to feel uncomfortable or weird when people say or do certain things around you. Keep the explanation simple and concrete so your child will understand what it means to feel embarrassed.

3. Ask your preschooler what made her feel embarrassed in the first place. For example, she may feel embarrassed that she can't climb the monkey bars like the other kids in her class or she can't do puzzles as quickly as the other kids. Pinpointing a cause for the embarrassment is another step in helping her to cope with this emotion.

4. Talk to your child about what might make him feel better when he gets embarrassed. Some kids need to take some time away from the situation, while others may be OK just telling people to stop the action that is embarrassing them. Tell your child he needs to let you know when he is feeling embarrassed (create a signal if you child doesn't want to verbalize it) so you can help him deal with it.

5. Talk with your child's preschool teacher, family members and friends about the situations that embarrass your child. Talking about what embarrasses your child helps people to avoid those behaviors in the presence of your child.

6. Assure your child it is normal to feel embarrassed sometimes; tell her some stories of times you were embarrassed and how you dealt with the feeling. Knowing her parents felt the same way at one time might help your child realize it is OK to be embarrassed at times and that she will get through it.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't pressure your child to be in situations that embarrass him. Allow your child the ability to leave the situation and cope with the embarrassment in his own way on his own timetable.

References

• Raising Children Network; Toddler Embarrassment; Talaris Institute; May 2010
• PsychCentral; How To Help Kids Deal With Emotions; Joe Wilner, M.A.; April 2011

Resources

• Education; Helping Your Preschooler Understand Emotions and Feelings; Traci Geiser