How to Build a Close Relationship With Your Daughter-in-Law

You can have a close relationship with your daugher-in-law with a few steps.

Movies and media portray the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law relationship as one that is tumultuous and raw. It is believed these two women can never get along but here are many ways to get close to a daughter-in-law and have a healthy and happy relationship.

Instructions

1. Start slow and don't expect to be best friends overnight -- or ever. Invite her to go for coffee or to help you make part of a holiday dinner. Keep the conversation light and avoid talking about her relationship with your son -- it could seem like you are prying for information.

2. Ask questions that are tailored to her interests to let her know you care. For example, if you know she enjoys cooking, ask her if she would enjoy helping you prepare a family dinner. Ask her about her job if she works a lot or her pet if she is an animal lover. These types of topics will break the ice and open up the conversation for deeper talks to come.

3. Spend some time alone with your daughter-in-law. Go shopping or to a movie or for coffee; this will give the two of you time to talk and get to know one another away from the pressure of your son and the rest of the family. This can give you the ability to open up to her about personal issues and she may begin to do the same -- but again, don't push the issue or it will seem as if you are prying.

4. Take a vacation as a family. This is a wonderful way for you and your daughter-in-law to get to know one another in a more-relaxed setting, away from the stresses of daily life. A vacation allows you to see each other in a different light and get to know each other more intimately. A vacation can bring the two of you closer together when you all return to "normal" life.

5. Take things one day at a time and be happy with whatever relationship emerges. Some people may have a very close relationship with their daughter-in-law and others may not. Do the best you can to welcome her into your family and the rest should fall into place.

Tips & Warnings

• Avoid giving your daughter-in-law advice on how to handle your son or how to raise her children -- these subjects can be sore spots and may lead to animosity between the two of you.

Resources

• Fabulously 40 and Beyond: How to Bond With Your Daughter-in-law