The Best Way to Confront a Coworker About an Annoyance

When confronting a coworker about an annoyance, it's best to not do so in front of others.

In a perfect world, you would get along with all of your coworkers; each and every one of you on the same page and united in your goals, whatever they may be. The fact of the matter is, even in an ideal work setting that's otherwise rife with personal and professional chemistry, there are bound to be annoyances that will crop up from time to time. Confronting a coworker about such annoyances is the best policy, if done politely, as bottling up your frustration can lead to bigger problems down the road.

Instructions

1. Take a step back and collect yourself. The annoyance no doubt grates on your nerves, so if you're the slightest bit frazzled, then your confrontation could go south in a hurry. For starters, the coworker may sense your aggravation right off the bat, and will in turn become defensive. Take a deep breath, a short walk or a long lunch break; whatever it is you have to do to distance yourself from the coworker and the annoyance for a spell.

2. Think about exactly what it is that you are going to say. The more vague you are, the less results you are likely to see. Mind every detail, including the introductory pleasantries. Ideally, you should be able to diplomatically rattle off what it is that annoys you and why. For example, say your coworker is a cocky, antagonistic type who seems to always be hazing you and others to some degree. A practical approach may be to walk up, greet him, then say, "I know it's all in good fun and you mean well, but I really do work better in a more professional setting and don't take well to the incessant razzing."

3. Prepare yourself for any response that you may get. Sure, you'd love for the coworker to say, "Gee, I'm sorry, I'll stop. I didn't know it bothered you." But that's not always the case, no matter how polite or diplomatic you are. Walk into the confrontation optimistic, but steel yourself for the worst. If she does indeed get mad, remain calm and back pedal out of the confrontation, as you don't want a full-fledged argument to ensue. "I'm sorry you feel that way," will suffice on your part.

4. Chat with your boss about the problem if all else has failed. Granted, you may be wary of feeling like a tattletale, but the fact remains that the annoyance has to stop. Your talks with the coworker have yielded no fruitful results, so it's time to talk to the manager. Let her know that you have exhausted every option at your disposal up to this point, since you don't want her to think that you're a high maintenance employee who needs your hand held. Then, let her handle the annoyance with you and your coworker as she sees fit.

References

• "CNN Living"; Dealing with Difficult Coworkers; Rachel Zupek; July, 2007