How to Help a Preschooler Overcome Social Sensitivity

Ask your child what is worrying him.

Social sensitivity and other anxieties triggered by social interactions in different environments and with strangers are often very debilitating, particularly for children as they struggle to understand their feelings and express them. Signs of social sensitivity in children include weeping, clinging to parents when meeting strangers, or simply becoming very introspective and shutting others out in public. Sometimes, kids are not afraid of different environments but rather of being judged by others. You can help your child feel more confident and help him overcome social sensitivity by working with him instead of pushing him into new social circumstances.

Things You'll Need

• Board games

Instructions

1. Ask your child what is worrying him. The first step to understand what is going on is to directly ask why he considers social interactions so fearsome. Although kids have difficulty articulating what is bothering them, with patience and care they become more inclined to open up.

2. Let your kid stay by you during social situations. Although parents' first impulse is to encourage their kids to socialize, kids who experience social anxiety would prefer to stay by a familiar person for a while before interacting with others. Just watching and staying with a parent during certain activities will help the child warm up and become more familiar with the environment.

3. Arrive early with your child to new places. If you enrolled your kid to take dance classes, for example, get to class early and allow him to observe the environment and watch the teacher and other classmates as they arrive. This will help him warm up and feel more confident before stepping into a new crowd.

4. Avoid pressuring your child to speak or socialize, and do not compare him to other kids. Pressure would only increase his anxiety and discourage interaction. Comparisons to other kids are likely to trigger more shyness and paralyzing self-scrutiny.

5. Invite your child's friends home. Board games are particularly good games for introspective children who are also trying to interact with others. Your child, then, would not have to step out of his comfort zone to interact with others and would learn to feel more comfortable around his friends.

Tips & Warnings

• Make sure you always consult your child before taking action to help improve his sociability. For instance, before inviting friends over, make sure to ask if your child would be happy with that to avoid future tension.

• Social sensitivity and other forms of anxiety and shyness are common, but parents should be aware that they could be dealing with a deeper social phobia or even selective mutism, which may be perceived as shyness but is in fact a disorder that keeps one from speaking in certain social circumstances. Seek professional advice from a therapist if you notice that your child consistently fails to speak in social situations and if it is affecting his progress at school, regardless of his openness at home.

References

• Selective Mutism Center: Home Page
• ABC12; 8 Ways to Help a Shy Child; Gail Belsky; July 2011