How to Salvage a Bad Date

An occasional bad date is par for the course in the world of dating. Assess the situation before you write off this person forever. Is your date being rude? Or do you have nothing in common? Is excessive nervousness the problem? Here are some guidelines.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

During the date

1. Meet for coffee or lunch if you're apprehensive about a date. It's easier to suffer through a quick meal than it is to suffer through an evening date that lasts several hours.

2. If your date is being rude, obnoxious or abusive, leave. You don't have to give this person the time of day.

3. If you and your date have nothing in common, endure the date but end it as soon as it is polite to do so. You needn't extend the date with after-dinner drinks if that was not in the original plan.

4. If the two of you are merely nervous, muddle through the nervousness. Some couples claim their first date was awful because they were both addled with nervousness.

5. If you inadvertently insult your date, apologize and drop the subject. Depending on the severity of your insult, your date might forgive and forget. If not, the relationship was probably doomed anyway.

6. Treat the other person with dignity. Conversely, demand the same from your date. Never do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable in an effort to impress your date.

The morning after

7. Avoid beating yourself up if a date went wrong. File it away in your mind as a life experience and congratulate yourself for braving the dating circuit.

8. Call up a friend so you can share the excruciating details of the date and hopefully find some humor in it.

9. Do something fun to forget about the date. Jog, shoot hoops, eat ice cream or watch a movie.

10. Be honest yet kind if the person calls you with an invitation for a second date and you aren't interested: "I enjoyed our evening together, but I don't think we are the right fit."

11. If you like the person despite the disaster date, give him or her a second chance. Laughing about the awkwardness of the first date might help both of you relax and get to know each other.

Tips & Warnings

• A first date is an opportunity for two people to get acquainted. Plan an activity that reveals an aspect of your character and helps you relax. Go to a baseball game, visit an art exhibit, or meet for knishes at your favorite knish shop.
• Avoid situations during a first date that could lead to date rape. Meet in public areas and do not get drunk. Firmly but politely decline an invitation to go into your date's apartment.
• Avoid sharing personal information, such as your home address and phone number, until you get to know the person better and feel comfortable sharing this information. Opt for communicating via e-mail instead.

[labellefleur100]

on 1/28/2009 A bad date is a bad date. If you realize there is no chemistry, just let the person know that you would rather be friends then move on.