How to Fix a Sticky Social Situation

Awkward social situations are an excruciating yet inevitable part of our human existence. Here's how to make them as painless as possible.

Difficulty:

Easy

Instructions

In Person Sticky Situations

1. You receive an invitation you don't want to accept. Decline with a vague yet believable excuse: "Paul and I regret fully decline your kind invitation. We have a family obligation that evening."

2. You forget someone's name. Try to distract him or her by asking a friendly question: "Hi there! How's the new truck?" If you cannot hide the fact that you've forgotten, apologize and ask. It happens to the best of us.

3. Someone calls you by the wrong name. Correct him or her politely and make light of it: "It's actually Sharon, but people call me Shannon so often that I respond to both."

4. You mistakenly think someone is pregnant. There is no way you can undo this insult. Never, ever ask a woman if she is pregnant. If you suspect it, ask her a leading question such as: "Is there any exciting news in your life?"

5. You put your foot in your mouth. Apologize sincerely, then drop the subject. If you attempt to explain yourself, you risk creating further insult. If you are lucky, others will forgive and forget.

6. You're under- or overdressed. Improvise if possible. Borrow a blazer to dress up your attire; wear a sweater to hide your fancy dress. If improvisation is out of the question, wear your outfit with aplomb. There is no greater accoutrement than self-confidence.

7. You're asked to guess someone's age. Reply with a vague yet witty response: "Oh, the last time I guessed someone's age, I had a martini poured in my face!" If you can't evade the question, subtract five years from your best estimate.

8. You're asked your own age. This is a rude question, and you needn't answer it. Some suggestions: "Old enough to know better." "Young enough to get that question." "Ageless, and you?"

9. You run into an ex with your spouse. Greet your ex politely, introduce that person to your spouse and ask about his or her well-being. Then excuse yourself promptly. Out of sensitivity to your spouse, do not ask about your ex's love life or compliment his or her appearance.

10. You're invited to more than one party. Accept the invitation that you received first unless the other invitation involves a major event for a family member or close friend. If invitations are received within the same time frame, accept the one that is most appealing. Respond to both invitations promptly.

11. A friend asks for an honest opinion. Assess the situation. If your opinion might help the friend through troubled waters, share it in private. If it will hurt the friend's feelings, a white lie is appropriate. Keep it general: "You look lovely."

Party Sticky Situations

1. You encounter someone you dislike at a party. Greet him or her politely, then gracefully excuse yourself from further conversation. A party is not the place to settle old scores.

2. You leave a party early. Thank the host and give an excuse for your departure. Be discreet to avoid sending out a signal that the party is over.

Getting Off the Phone

1. Apologize and give an excuse that has the undertone of urgency: "I'm sorry. I need to pull the roast from the oven before it burns."

2. Pretend you have an urgent call on the other line and that you will get back to the person you are talking to.

3. Tell them you are approaching an area where you always get disconnected due to poor reception and then either just hang up in the middle of a sentence or tell them you will call them back at a later time.

Work Related Sticky Situations

1. A co-worker has a crush on you. Drop references to a "special someone" in your life, whether real or not. If asked on a date, be polite yet firm in your refusal, unless, of course, you are interested.

2. You have a crush on a co-worker. If the person reports to you, do not pursue it. You risk facing sexual-harassment charges. Otherwise, drop subtle hints to ascertain whether your interest is reciprocated. If the vibes say yes, ask him or her out, but be prepared to accept rejection.

3. A colleague has an odor problem. Ask a close friend of the co-worker or a manager to address the problem. Some thoughtful tips from a friend or manager might help.

4. Colleagues expect you to join in scuttlebutt. Decline to participate; use humor to keep the mood light. Eventually colleagues will stop turning to you for a scoop if you never provide any.