How to Knit a Mustache
Some folks simply cannot grow their own mustaches. This is unfortunate because mustaches can come in handy. Suppose you're a 14-year-old boy waiting for puberty to hit, or you're an adult who needs a quick disguise to prevent that annoying guy from accounting from badgering you about timesheets. Just slap on this knitted mustache and your instant whiskers will be the envy of all who witness its fleecy goodness.
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Things You'll Need
- 1 pair knitting needles, size 6
- 10 yards of worsted yarn
- Scissors
- Tapestry needle
Instructions
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1
Cast on 20 stitches. Knit the first row in seed stitch, which is alternating knit and purl stitches.
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2
Knit the second row in seed stitch, adding a stitch at both ends of the row by using the "make-one" technique. See the References section for guidance. To knit subsequent rows in seed stitch, purl the knit stitches located in the row immediately below the working row and knit the purl stitches.
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3
Knit the third row in seed stitch.
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4
Knit the fourth row in seed stitch, but add a stitch at both ends of the row as you did in Step 2.
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5
Knit the fifth row in seed stitch.
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6
Add one stitch by following this sequence of stitches: knit one, make one (purl), knit one, purl one, knit one, purl one. Bind off 14 stitches. Add another stitch by following this sequence: knit one, purl one, knit one, purl one, make one (knit), purl one. This completes the sixth row.
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7
Leave the stitches on the opposite side of the mustache on the needle. Ignore them and proceed to finish the side that is still connected to the working yarn. You will return to the other side when this side is finished. Knit the working side in seed stitch (six stitches).
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8
Bind off two stitches. Knit the remaining four stitches in seed stitch.
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9
Knit four stitches in seed stitch.
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10
Bind off two stitches; knit the remaining two stitches in seed stitch.
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11
Bind off the remaining two stitches on the working side. Slip the working yarn through the last stitch and pull it to create a loop large enough to fit over your ear. Break or cut the yarn. This is how your mustache will stay in place.
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12
Return to the opposite side of your mustache, and, with a new strand of yarn, knit two stitches in seed stitch. Bind them off. Knit the remaining four stitches.
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13
Knit four stitches in seed stitch.
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14
Bind off two stitches; knit two stitches in seed stitch.
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15
Bind off all stitches. As you did with the other side, slip the working yarn through the last stitch and pull to create the loop for your ear. Break the yarn or cut it with scissors. Use the tapestry needle to weave in all loose ends.
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1
Tips & Warnings
Soak your mustache in cool water for a few minutes and spread it out on a flat surface, shaping it roughly into the silhouette of a canoe. Allow it to dry completely before wearing it.
People might not recognize you when you wear this mustache. Be prepared for this.
