How to Handle a Social Situation With a Rude Friend

If your friend misses subtle social cues, make it plain she's being rude.

There are myriad ways that a rude friend can negatively affect you in social situations. From talking loudly on a cell phone at the dinner table, to using horrible pickup lines on your female acquaintances at a cocktail party, rude friends can embarrass and even enrage you. Handle a social situation with a rude friend by sending clear unspoken messages. If that doesn't work, pull your buddy into the bathroom or a quiet nook and set some stringent ground rules and consequences. Loving a friend means confronting him when social rudeness thresholds are beyond crossed.

Instructions

1. Realize that your friend is the one with the problem, not you. Refrain from getting either overly upset or strangely passive in a social situation with a rude friend. Take a deep breath and internally shift gears from friend to patient instructor.

2. Shoot your friend a pointed look that makes it clear you're not pleased with his actions. If he doesn't catch the hint, wait until he is looking at you and then roll your eyes at him. Point at his cellphone if that's where the problem lies, or wag your finger at him like a displeased schoolmaster.

3. If your friend somehow misses your clear indications that he's being rude, physically nudge or pull him away from your social circle, to a private location.

4. Tell your friend that you value his friendship. Describe the rude behavior he's exhibiting in concrete terms that focus on actions, not subjective opinions. Say something like, "You just told my sister's best friend that she has a nice rack. She didn't laugh. You continued to talk about her anatomy, even though her face turned red and she tried to change the subject," instead of calling your friend all kinds of names.

5. Inform your friend that if the behavior continues, you'll ask him to leave. Accompany him back into the social situation, and give him a second chance by continuing conversation like nothing ever happened.

Tips & Warnings

• If you know that a certain friend struggles with rudeness in social situations, set ground rules on the way to the gathering. This will save both of you considerable embarrassment.

• If your friend ignores both your hints and your clear confrontation, it is time to ask him to leave. If you fail to follow through, the other members of your social circle will continue to suffer.

References

• LifeScript; Excuse Me! How To Deal With Rude People; Wendy Travis; 2008
• Think Simple Now; Dealing with Difficult People; Tina Su;

Resources

• Betty Confidential; How Do You Handle It When a Friend is Rude?; Candace Cavanaugh Beuhner; 2011