How to Tell a Guy You Don't Love Him Without Hurting His Feelings
Dating is like trying on shoes: Not every pair fits. Some women know on the very first date whether a guy has the power to make her swoon. Others take weeks or even months to decide whether they are interested in something long-term. If your current boyfriend is obviously into you, it is important to be honest with him as soon as you know where your relationship stands. If you want to tell a guy you don't love him without hurting his feelings, woman up and face the situation with a combination of gentleness and honesty.
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Instructions
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Respect your guy enough to meet with him in person as soon as you know it's time to break it off. Pick a neutral and casual location at a time that's not busy or where you won't run into people you know. Order coffee instead of food, so he doesn't feel pressured to stay and finish a meal.
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Explain how you feel in a way that builds the guy up instead of tearing him down. For example, instead of saying, "I'm just not that into you," say, "I respect so many things about you, but I just don't feel the chemistry I need to fall in love." Make it clear that you are not rejecting him; you just don't think the two of you are compatible when it comes to love.
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Give the guy a chance to respond to what you have just told him. Be prepared for his disappointment, anger or even attempts at talking you into giving him another shot at winning your heart. Be firm in your decision not to pursue love together any further, but invite him to become a friend if that is something you are willing to try out.
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Refrain from calling or texting him when you feel lonely, or you will be tempted to lead him on to get your own emotional needs met. Be casual friends, or cut off contact completely so the guy is not left in a perpetual state of limbo on where the relationship stands.
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Tips & Warnings
If you want to be extra nice, make a short list of qualities you admire in the guy you are breaking bad news to. Put this in an envelope, and give it to him to read at a later time. This will help to ensure that the guy's confidence isn't damaged too badly.
Never blame a guy for the fact that you don't love him, or he is likely to get angry and deeply hurt. Make it clear that your personalities simply do not click romantically and that you know he'll be ideal for some other lucky lady.
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