How to Know When to Share Feelings in a New Relationship

Always choose a comfortable location for both parties when sharing feelings.

Relationships require knowing when to share, what to share and how to share. While all of these matter, the first -- knowing when to share -- trumps them all. Particularly in a new relationship, if you don't know when to share your feelings the relationship can feel emotionally driven because you share feelings all the time or emotionally devoid because you seem to never share feelings. Whether it's a simple friendship or new romantic relationship, identifying the appropriate time to share feelings will set you up to succeed when you communicate how you feel.

Instructions

1. Match the type of feelings you need to share to the appropriate situation. If you feel like he's minimizing your time together, choose a time that you're alone instead of calling him up while he's with other friends. Don't approach the conversation if it doesn't fit the context.

2. Talk about your feelings when the other person is at the top of his emotional game. Approach him when he's awake and in a good mood. Even if you share positive feelings at the end of a long day he may not have the energy to reciprocate in the way you need.

3. Ask him if it's a good time to share. If you're not sure the other person is ready to hear your feelings, ask. Say, "I want to share something personal with you. Is it a good time?"

4. Know whether the other person is a thinker or a feeler, as categorized by Meyer-Briggs. If the other person likes to talk about feelings, then you can do it more often, even several time a day. If he's a thinker, though, plan out the conversations instead of mentioning your feelings every other hour.

References

• "At Health"; Expression Your Feelings in Relationships
• "Chabad"; The Communication Trap; Miriam Adahan
• "Relationships Matter"; How to Best Share Your Emotions With Your Mate