How to Help Children Cope With Leaving for College

Leaving home for the first time can cause excitement and apprehension.

Each fall, millions of young people leave the safety of family life to begin a new chapter of their lives as college freshmen. Though many teenagers embrace the change with excitement, some feel fearful and apprehensive. Leaving the security and comfort of home, friends and routines for the unknown can be stressful. Help your teen cope by offering support and communicating openly. Celebrate the transition from teen to adult and have confidence that he will succeed.

Instructions

1. Open the lines of communication with your teen. Encourage her to express any concerns, fears or other issues about leaving home. Listen and reassure her. Ask about her educational goals and aspirations and state your expectations. Put forth a positive attitude about leaving and avoid discussing your own worries with your teen. Remind her of her accomplishments, goals and dreams. Tell positive stories from your own days in college.

2. Prepare your teen for the college environment by teaching life skills such as laundry, cooking, cleaning, managing money and managing time. Give him more responsibilities and encourage him to take charge of his life while you are still present to provide guidance. He will gain confidence in his ability to be self-reliant, which can ease anxieties.

3. Anticipate needs or problems that may arise and establish a clear plan to address them. Develop a phone list with your teen including campus emergency numbers, the health center or family and friends in the area. Talk about what to do in an emergency and how to get home if necessary. Help her set up a budget or state your expectations about her spending.

4. Tour the campus before move-in day, if possible. Check out the residence hall where your teen will live, the food service, classrooms and other facilities. Obtain campus maps to take home so he can get familiar with the layout and find his classes easily during the first week of classes. If your teen will have a roommate, encourage him to make contact with the roommate to begin establishing a relationship.

5. Talk openly about issues such as drugs, alcohol, sex and safety. Enforcing a zero-tolerance policy may lead teens to overdo it when they're away from parental supervision. Make your teen aware of the problems and consequences associated with careless behavior and discuss ways to make responsible decisions.

References

• Parent's Toolshop Consulting; Prepare Teens to Leave the Nest; Jody Johnston Pawel
• Education.com: Making the Transition to College: A Guide for Parents; Marylene Cloitre; 2011

Resources

• NYU Child Study Center; Transition to College; Jess P. Shatkin