How to Cope With Your Partner's Erectile Dysfunction

Although erectile dysfunction (ED) has been receiving a great deal of attention, the equally important issue of how it affects a partner's sexual performance and satisfaction has been largely ignored - you don't see Elizabeth Dole addressing this subject.

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

1. Realize that your partner's condition is not your fault, and it does not necessarily mean that he isn't attracted to you.

2. Discuss, with your partner, the effects of ED on you.

3. Ask your partner how you can support his efforts to get help.

4. Tell your partner how he can help you during this adjustment in your sexual relationship.

5. Explore a variety of options to maintain sexual and emotional intimacy and satisfaction.

6. Be open to attending sex therapy, other counseling or support groups that will help you and your partner address the effects of ED on all aspects of your relationship, physical as well as emotional.

7. Reassure your partner that you still care for him.

8. Show compassion and share your fears, concerns and needs.

Tips & Warnings

• This information is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice or treatment.

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[helpme777]

on 7/16/2008 My partner of 5 years has ED because of recently diagnosed diabetes. 6 months ago, before this happened, we were having sex AT LEAST once a day, if not more. He was VERY interested in it, all the time. Now he shies away from sexual contact completely...I've tried to be supportive, to suggest we try other ways to satisfy each other...it seems like he's determined to be a monk. He even told me he doesn't really think about sex anymore. I'm convinced that he's forcing himself not to think of it, he's depressed, ect. because this happened so fast...we noticed the problem start one week, very mildly, the next week, that was it. POOF, just like that. He's not even interested in his "favorite" things anymore. I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm not a nun or a saint...I need SOMETHING here. It's not so much about sexual gratification as emotional satisfaction and intimacy...our relationship ha

[helpme777]

on 7/16/2008 My partner of 5 years has ED because of recently diagnosed diabetes. 6 months ago, before this happened, we were having sex AT LEAST once a day, if not more. He was VERY interested in it, all the time. Now he shies away from sexual contact completely...I've tried to be supportive, to suggest we try other ways to satisfy each other...it seems like he's determined to be a monk. He even told me he doesn't really think about sex anymore. I'm convinced that he's forcing himself not to think of it, he's depressed, ect. because this happened so fast...we noticed the problem start one week, very mildly, the next week, that was it. POOF, just like that. He's not even interested in his "favorite" things anymore. I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm not a nun or a saint...I need SOMETHING here. It's not so much about sexual gratification as emotional satisfaction and intimacy...our relationship ha

[helpme777]

on 7/16/2008 My partner of 5 years has ED because of recently diagnosed diabetes. 6 months ago, before this happened, we were having sex AT LEAST once a day, if not more. He was VERY interested in it, all the time. Now he shies away from sexual contact completely...I've tried to be supportive, to suggest we try other ways to satisfy each other...it seems like he's determined to be a monk. He even told me he doesn't really think about sex anymore. I'm convinced that he's forcing himself not to think of it, he's depressed, ect. because this happened so fast...we noticed the problem start one week, very mildly, the next week, that was it. POOF, just like that. He's not even interested in his "favorite" things anymore. I'm trying to be supportive, but I'm not a nun or a saint...I need SOMETHING here. It's not so much about sexual gratification as emotional satisfaction and intimacy...our relationship ha

on 9/7/2006 Sex is an important factor in a relationship, but not the most important! Consider the situation of your partner being in a wheelchair or seriously hurt.You would have compassion for them and would be understanding because it's not their fault. It's the same concept. It is not your partners fault. Love them anyway!

on 6/30/2006 It's very important that both you and your partner are equally satisfied. Often, consideration is given to the partner with ED, but the partner that doesn't have ED is unsatisfied because of the sensitivity in talking about their needs as well. Communication is critical, no matter how sensitive the nature of ED. Both partners should be satisfied.