Let's face it, being in a relationship can be tricky. Almost every couple can benefit from a little objective help now and then, to put the "relation" back in the "ship." A skilled couples or family counselor can offer new approaches to making things work. The key is to find someone you and your partner both feel comfortable with.
Sit down with your partner, if possible, and talk about what each of you expects to get out of counseling. Try to be specific about your goals and be considerate of each other's wishes. Write them down if you feel it's helpful.
Contact therapists and ask about their qualifications, licensing, experience and education. If you have special issues (such as substance abuse, depression or anger management), ask about their experience in those areas.
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At your first meeting with the counselor, discuss what you and your partner hope to accomplish. You'll also need to talk about scheduling and fees.
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Consider working with someone still in training or in school if finances are an issue--they often offer reduced rates and will be supervised by a trained professional.
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Ask a potential counselor how long it may take to work on your issues. If you cannot afford in-depth work, a shorter solution-based approach may be helpful.
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Trust your instincts and respect your partner's point of view. A wall covered in diplomas and professional awards can't substitute for the right fit for you and your situation.
Tips & Warnings
Think carefully before asking relatives or friends for referrals. It may prove helpful, or it may compromise your security and privacy, making an already tough task harder.
A sense of trust and security with your therapist is critical. Therapy often raises difficult issues, and working through them will be easier if you feel comfortable with your counselor.
If you are assigned a therapist by a court, a health maintenance organization (HMO) or an employer, find out what your options are if you do not see eye to eye with the therapist.
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