How to Sell Yourself to Your Girlfriend/Boyfriend's Family

Some people say--and they're probably correct--that every job in the world is a sales job. No matter what your profession, you have to sell yourself, your ideas and your skills. The same is true when you meet your sweetheart's family. In a perfect world, they would instantly recognize your refined character and sincere qualities. But do you really want to chance it?

Difficulty: Moderately challenging

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Appropriate clothing
• Small gifts

1. Wait until the time is right. Try not to meet the family too soon. Be sure you're serious about the relationship so that you can deal with them sincerely.

2. Find out whom you will be meeting. Memorize their names. Addressing people by name is absolutely vital and an easy way to make your social skills and manners visible. Know the expected form for addressing the parents ("Mr. Snodgrass," "Sir," "Buster").

3. Meet at a neutral location, if possible. This should be less stressful than going to their home. A restaurant familiar to you is a good option. However, be prepared to defer to the parents' preference. If you initiate a restaurant meeting it will probably be your obligation to pay.

4. Absolutely be on time. If you're late, it will almost certainly be viewed as disrespectful to them and your mate. If there's any chance that you will be late, notify someone as soon as possible. Be sure your cell phone is charged up and you have their number. If you can't make the appointment, and you can't notify them, plan to be either dead or on life support when they locate you.

5. Bring a small gift. Find out from your mate what would be appropriate. A bottle of wine, especially at a family dinner, is almost always a tasteful offering.

6. Dress for the occasion. Have your mate tell you exactly what to wear. Don't rely on subjective descriptions like "casual" or "dressy." If your mate tells you to wear your dark suit, shut up, put on the suit and make the most of it. You've got the rest of your life to show what a slob you are.

7. Show an interest in the family. They will probably want to know about you, but try to steer the conversation to their interests and activities as well. Avoid talking endlessly about yourself.

8. Tell stories that highlight the fine qualities of their son/daughter. This will elevate you to worthy status due to your ability to appreciate such quality family traits.

9. Avoid sensitive issues. Religion, politics, race relations, foreign affairs, and the behavior of kids today are all issues guaranteed to start trouble. If you initiate a discussion on one of these topics at a first meeting, you probably deserve to be single. On the other hand, if asked a direct question, you have no choice but to answer honestly. State your position once, and avoid being drawn into an argument. Remember not to swear.

Tips & Warnings

• Above all, be yourself. If you're not naturally the life of the party, don't try to be one now.
• Don't put too much pressure on yourself. No one expects you to be perfect. Thoughtful and polite is good enough, no matter what else happens.
• Avoid groping your girlfriend or boyfriend in public. Keep physical contact to a minimum to show the folks you love their child for more than just her or his body.

on 8/26/2006 It is okay to reach over and briefly squeeze your significant other's hand and maybe a peck on the cheek or lips when you leave, but nothing more than that.