How to Welcome Kids Home After Mandatory Removal

There will be an adjustment period as you welcome home children who have been removed. Focus on improving your children's lives and getting any assistance you need to cope with the situation.

Instructions

Difficulty: Moderate

1. Understand that your children have been away from home for a period of time and that coming home will be an adjustment for everyone.
2. Talk with the caseworkers and social workers involved in your case for advice about how to adjust to the changes.
3. Speak to your children about what happened. Don't pretend that everything will be the same as it was.
4. Know that your children now understand that the caseworkers believed it was unsafe for them to remain at home, whether the accusations were true or not.
5. Explain to your children that you love them, never want to hurt them and will do everything possible to keep them safe.
6. Be honest about what happened. If the accusations are true, explain that you are very sorry and tell them what you have done to make changes in your life. If the accusations are untrue, be honest about that too.
7. Expect that your children may feel a bit nervous or unsure around you. Do not become angry about this. Just work around it and make sure they know you love them.
8. Get your kids into counseling. Even if counseling wasn't recommended by the caseworkers, it will help with the adjustment period.
9. Remember that it is easy to fall back into the same habits that caused the situation. Try to avoid reliving the past.
10. Obtain treatment for any problems that you may have - substance abuse, violence in the home, depression, anxiety, financial troubles, marital problems. You cannot help your children until you start to face your own problems.
11. Continue to cooperate with the caseworkers as there will probably be a monitoring period.

Tips & Warnings

• If your children were placed in a foster home, they may have formed attachments to the foster family. Allow them to see the foster family if they wish. Do not view this as a threat to your parenting abilities.
• Understand that if your children should ever be removed again, it will be more difficult to get them back. Do everything you can to avoid situations that could lead to removal.