How to Refuse a Date to Ensure Another Request

Sometimes circumstances are beyond your control. Here's how to refuse a date when you truly wish you could accept.

Difficulty: Moderate

Instructions

1. Smile and make eye contact if the invitation is made in person.

2. Communicate your complete attention if the request is made by phone. Consider saying something like 'Excuse me while I close the door' or 'I was hoping you'd call.'

3. Express your thanks in whatever style is genuine and comfortable for you - a joke, a simple thanks, a great big 'Wow!'

4. Communicate your regret at having to refuse, and explain why you need to decline the invitation.

5. Suggest another specific day, or express your general wish to find another time that works for both of you. A straightforward 'I can't this time because I have to go to Chicago, but I would love to make it another time. How's next Friday?' has candor to recommend it.

Tips & Warnings

• People look for acceptance, so be open and enthusiastic.
• If you simply say that you can't make it, the person may interpret that as a brush-off. Always provide an explanation.
• Be clear, candid and gracious.
• Asking someone out can be difficult, so make it as easy as possible for the other person.

[Troyster]

on 7/20/2009 Honesty is the best policy. If you tell it like it is, most normal guys will get it. Brush offs are usually pretty easy to detect. The long lingering thaaaaaaanks and over sympathy. Most of the time inviting a follow up will sound encouraging.

on 11/22/2005 An excuse is a lie. Tell the truth. It is a sign of maturity and self respect as well as respect and courtesy to the other.

on 11/22/2005 Always, always, ALWAYS provide a believable explanation. If the other person says "maybe some other time," agree, and suggest when.

on 11/22/2005 Be more specific than just saying, "Oh, I wish I could. How about another time?" That still sounds like a brush-off. Give at least a general reason of why you can't and when you could, even if it's not specific.