How to Refuse a Date to Ensure No More Requests

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor

Rate: (5 Ratings)

Unless you want to be asked out again by this person, be direct and leave no room for misinterpretation.

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Instructions

Difficulty: Moderately Easy

Step1

Be clear, consistent and gracious in your refusal. Be politely neutral rather than emphatic.

Step2

Don't hesitate, procrastinate or ask to think about it.

Step3

Express regret, if you'd like, but never say anything you don't mean, such as, 'Maybe another time.'

Step4

Devise an impersonal, generic explanation if you prefer, such as, 'I never date co-workers' or 'I'm involved with someone else.' Otherwise, simply refuse the invitation with a polite 'Thank you for thinking of me. I'm sorry I'll have to say no.'

Tips & Warnings

If a person persists in asking you out, just persist in being firm and clear. Sooner or later, you'll get the message across.

Comments

Adityan said

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on 2/1/2007 "Impersonal" is all important. You would not want to break the poor guys heart with personal comments about him. He should not feel like trash at your refusal. Be gentle.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 no matter how much he buggs you DO NOT change your answer. Lieing is a last dich resort only to be used in semi-stalker situations.

Anonymous said

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on 11/22/2005 Say a simple, polite (but blunt), "Thank you, but I'd rather not." He should get the hint. If he wants you to elaborate, he'll ask you.

MrsLizzy said

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on 7/15/2007 I agree with all the above. Some men will argue with you and demand reasons why you won't go out with them. Don't be drawn into this: whatever reasons you give, such men will insist they are not valid for one reason or another. So "why won't you go out with me?" or similar should always be answered politely with "I'm saying no thank you, and that's all you need to know." Then refuse to discuss the matter any further.

HowToDating said

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on 9/9/2007 Do make sure not that you do not confuse "impersonal" with cold. One of my friends is a master at refusing date requests and at the same time making men feel like a million bucks for even having asked.

How does she do it?

She simply says it with a tone of (not words, but the tone behind it) "I really really appreciate the fact that you asked, it's so unfortunate we can't, but I really respect the fact that you have the balls to do it , there should be more men like you out there"

She does this while verbally mentioning something that would make accepting completely impossible.

1) Suitor asks
2) She doesn't even acknowledge it and starts talking about the impossibility situation "oh wow, yeah did I tell you, my live-in girlfriend just brought me today the cutest puppy you've ever seen for our 10 year anniversay, it's awesome. I love it"

That way both people are saved.