How to Make Your Friends Believe You're a Computer Geek

With countless so-called "computer geeks" becoming rich and famous through the Internet economy, an image of computer geekdom may command a certain degree of respect from your friends and colleagues. But you don't need to spend a lifetime breathing Ethernet and eating shell scripts to play geek for your friends.

Things You'll Need

• Computer Magazines
• Internet Access
• At Least Three E-mail Accounts
• Computers

Instructions

1. Learn the latest computer and networking lingo and work it into casual conversation. Pretend you make sense.

2. Leave your phone off the hook for hours to create the illusion that you're spending a great deal of time logged on to the Internet, especially if your friends aren't aware that most true computer geeks don't use a dial-up Internet connection.

3. Regale your friends with amusing anecdotes about your chat room adventures.

4. Make extremely esoteric jokes about programming languages and alternative operating systems. The jokes don't have to make sense; your friends won't know what you're talking about either way.

5. Create your own Web page. If necessary, use an HTML editor, but tell your friends that you programmed it yourself.

6. Establish at least three separate e-mail accounts.

7. Carry current issues of various computer magazines and serials dealing with computers, the Internet and other technological matters around with you wherever you go. You don't need to really read them; just pepper your speech with terms used therein.

8. Get involved in other hobbies that are often associated with computer geekdom, such as comic books, trading card games, online gaming and anime (Japanese animation).