How to Deal With a Woman Who Always Needs to Be the Center of Attention Around Men
If one of your friends is a woman who always needs to be the center of attention around men, you are likely feeling frustrated and overlooked on a regular basis. Human beings are social creatures and it is natural for them to look for validation from others. However, individuals with an attention-seeking disorder attempt to get their valid needs met in invalid ways. If your female friend is negatively affecting your life with her behavior, you will need to set some firm boundaries to make the relationship healthy for both of you.
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Instructions
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Resist the urge to become insecure around men when you are with your friend. Realize that her blatant grabs for attention are the reason men don't seem to notice you. Stay level-headed and refuse to compete for attention.
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Sit down and make a list of specific incidents in which your friend obviously needed to be the center of attention. Describe the incident in concrete, rather than abstract, terms. Instead of saying, "You had to have all eyes on you," say, "You pulled up your skirt in a seductive manner to get men's attention, and then you talked over me whenever I tried to speak."
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Write down how each incident made you feel personally. Use words like "unappreciated," "bullied" and "betrayed." Create a list of ways you plan to respond to your friend's behavior in the future. Some common responses include: walking away, confronting her or refusing to make plans for a subsequent outing with your friend.
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Make an appointment to speak with your friend. Tell her you value your relationship and affirm her strengths. Go over your incident list with her, telling her how her behavior negatively affects you. Inform her that if she continues the behavior, you will begin to respond with one of the natural consequences on your list.
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Give your friend an opportunity to explain her behavior, and refer her to a support group if she is ready to do some internal work toward healing her underlying issues. Reinforce the friendship again, letting her know that you are glad she is in your life.
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Tips & Warnings
Give your friend some grace if she is obviously willing to change. If she has been the center of attention around men for as long as she can remember, she might fall back into attention-seeking behaviors once in a while. Be kind but firm if she does. Realize it takes a while to learn new ways of behaving with others.
Stick to your guns and respond with one of your natural consequences if your friend continues to attention-grab around men. If you cave in and don't confront or walk away, your friend will not stop her behaviors and you will likely grow bitter.
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