How to Deal With Your Wife's Parents

You may wish you had more things in common with the parents of your wife.

If you experience conflict with your wife's parents, you may feel overwhelmed or unsure how to act around them. Perhaps you simply do not agree on specific core issues; you each have different religious beliefs, or they do not understand your perspective on finances. Whatever the case, if there is a very real conflict between you and the parents, there are a few ways to deal with the discomfort and still stay a part of the family.

Instructions

1. Talk to your wife about your frustrations. If you simply do not get along with her parents, talking to her about your frustrations may help you get a clearer perspective on the reason for this. Perhaps you think her mother is immature and not a good mother figure; tell her about this and ask her why this is the case. You may have grown up with parents who had different perspectives on leadership and authority. Your wife may agree with some of the things you say and may be able to explain the reason behind some of their qualities.

2. Communication in a polite manner but keep it to a minimum. When it comes to speaking with your wife's parents, keep communication as proper and positive as possible. There is no reason to bring your attitude to family gatherings; simply remember the love you have for your wife and have an open mind when it comes to communicating with your in-laws. Try to keep communication to a minimum and if you disagree with something, do not let it come between you and the parents.

3. Focus on similarities. You may have more in common with your in-laws than you think. Perhaps they are simply doubtful about you because they are overly protective of their daughter; by showing them that you genuinely love and care about her, they may gradually begin to lighten up and trust you a bit more. Try to find similar interests you have and focus on these things instead of paying attention to all your differences.

4. Clarify your desires for the future of your family. Regardless of the fact that your in-laws may consider themselves authority figures on the way your child should be raised, this is simply not the case. You and your wife are the parents and leaders of your household; you do not have to accept advice from your wife's parents. Decide what it is you want to do and listen to advice, but do not follow it if you have your own perspective.

References

• Dr. Phil: Managing Your In-Laws
• Real Simple: Dealing With Your In-Laws

Resources

• Tell It Like It Is: How to Get Along With the In-Laws