How to Help a College Student With Leaving the Nest

College is the first time many students live away from home for an extended period.

Graduating from high school and moving on to college is a commendable achievement that can be both exciting and daunting. For many students, college living is the first extended period of time living away from parents. Feelings of homesickness and loneliness can impede students' education and in some cases, even lead to dropping out of college. Parents can help prepare college-aged children for this transitional time by providing scaffolding experiences building up to the time of the move.

Instructions

1. 

   Tour the campus before the start of the school year.

   Arrange for a time to walk through the dormitory or other living arrangements before move-in day. Tour the campus together. Locate the buildings that house your child's classes, the cafeteria, the library, the gym and other places of interest. Shop for supplies to make the dorm room feel like home. Pack mementos from home, such as a family portrait or a special pillow. Locate the dorm Resident Assistant's room.

2. 

   Regular contact via the phone or email helps students bridge toward independence.

   Talk through a typical week, based on your child's class and work schedule. Discuss the timing of classes and when homework will be completed. Locate the best area to complete schoolwork. Suggest where there is room in the week's schedule for free time and socializing. Set up a regular time for the student to communicate with someone at home via phone or email. Agree on dates and mark on a calendar when parents can visit or when your child can visit home. Change the schedule as the need arises. Communicate about discretionary funds and spending. Explain the amount you will be providing and help arrange for a job if more money is needed.

3. 

   Listen and offer support on the phone.

   Set the precedent on the first contact with your child of being willing to hear all news, both good and bad. Encourage your child to be honest when speaking with you, and withhold judgment. Contact the Resident Assistant on the dormitory floor if you have a major concern. Listen and support your child as he is transitioning into adulthood.

References

• University of Iowa; Helping Your Child Adjust to College Life; Linzee Kull McCray; 2003
• University of Pittsburgh: College Parents Can Help Freshman Overcome First Semester
• Georgetown Univerity: Understanding and Easing the Transition to College