How to Help Adult Children Not Be Dependent Finanically
During tough economic times, young adults often find themselves with little to no job opportunities, despite having a college education, and find that they have to turn to mom and dad for help. In fact, according to "Forbes Magazine," close to 60 percent of parents are providing financial support to their adult children. This causes a strain on the parents financially and can affect the parent-child relationship. Parents can help guide their adult children back to financial freedom by setting boundaries on financial handouts and offering encouragement in their career search -- so their children can stand on their own two feet.
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Instructions
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Set an end date to your child living with you. If your son or daughter has to move home, let her know that this is a temporary situation only. Whether it is just for a few months or for a year is up to you., depending on your child's situation. Whatever end date you choose, don't waiver. Keeping the end date will force your child to stay active and aggressive in her job search, so that she can get her own place before your move-out deadline.
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Make your child pay rent. If he makes any sort of income whatsoever, whether from bar tending or walking dogs, he needs to pay rent. This way, you will not only establish that living at home is not a free ride, but you will push him to budget his finances, a skill necessary for financial freedom. Of course the goal of living at home temporarily is to save money and get back on his feet, so you don't want to bleed his paychecks dry for rent. Set a reasonable amount slightly lower than the market value of studio apartments in the area, that you both can agree on.
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Have your child help out if she's not working. If she can't find a job, she can still contribute and "pay" her way by doing household chores, running errands and making dinner. If the adult child is humble enough to return home to mom and dad, they should be happy to help out around the house as much as possible. It will also keep them from being tempted by the TV and couch to sit around all day.
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Offer only the basic financial support. Whether or not your child lives with you, she should only turn to you because times are truly bleak for her. Offer to help with the essentials only, such as a roof over her head, money for groceries or helping her with her car or health insurance payments. Your money should not go toward her entertainment, going out with friends, vacations and leisure shopping trips.
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Help him come up with a financial plan. Your child's financial issues may simply be due to not being able to budget and plan properly. Sit down with him to look over all his debts and income coming in, and come up with a budget as well as a game plan for the career search. Provide your expertise in reducing and consolidating loans and credit-card interest rates. Do not deter them from their career dreams, even if they may seem a bit lofty, such as becoming a singer or starting his own business. Instead, offer advice on taking jobs that will allow him to be financially independent as he works on the dream. Even if your adult child is resistant to the idea, as the deadline approaches, he will be more willing to do what he needs to do to keep a roof over his head.
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Tips & Warnings
Ask other close family members, such as a sympathetic grandmother, to support your efforts to get your child financially independent by asking them not to provide financial handouts to your child as well.
Be wary of the emotional guilt trip your child may try to put on you for your financial support. Stay firm in what you are willing to offer and for how long, or you may wind up with little to none of the hard-earned money you saved for your retirement.
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