How to Communicate With an Estranged Family
Being estranged from family members can be heartbreaking, confusing and especially difficult during the holidays, when families gather together to celebrate. Many things can be the cause for estrangement, from divorce to in-laws and religion. Ultimately, the cause of estrangement is hurt and pain. Regardless of who caused the problem or who doesn't want to speak to whom, it may be of utmost importance to you to mend the bridge between you and your estranged family members as soon as possible.
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Instructions
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Write and mail letters to the people you want to reconnect with. Keep the letters simple and to the point, as well as honest and blame-free. Explain how you feel about the situation and what you want as an outcome of the letters.
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Follow up the letters with phone calls a couple of weeks after mailing out the letters. Jot down a few things that you want to say before you make the call so that you don't get nervous and lose your train of thought. Remember, just because you made the first move, that doesn't necessarily mean it's easy for the person to respond, and a second effort from you may be necessary.
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Suggest that you and your family member meet up in person to spend some time together or talk more about the problems between the two of you. If you do meet up, do so in public for a short time, such as over coffee or lunch.
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Control the urge to demand too much from your estranged family members. Instead, choose your words carefully and don't expect more than what's possible for the time being.
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Consult a professional in cases where there is a history of abuse with the estranged family members. If abuse occurred, it may not be the best choice to bridge the gap. However, if you still feel strongly and want to contact the estranged people, you may want to discuss with a professional how you should approach the situation.
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References
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