How to Handle a Friend Who Falls in Love With You

You need to proceed with caution if your friend falls for you.

Friends make the best lovers, as the old saying goes. However, you may not have the same feelings for a friend that falls in love with you. Handling this situation no matter what your feelings needs to be done with caution and care for all the parties involved. Whether you and your friend make the transition to lovers or not, follow a few simple tips to handle this situation in the best way possible.

Instructions

If You Feel The Same Way

1. Talk honestly to your friend about how you feel. Let your friend know the feelings are reciprocal; tell him you feel the same way he does.

2. Take things slow, even if you have known each other for years. Rushing into a serious relationship might seem logical to one or both of you, but taking a step back and evaluating how you both feel might result in a more positive experience for both of you.

3. Spend more time together alone. Get to know each other without crowds of people around. Discover one another in a different light by talking about items you may not have discussed before, such as a future together or becoming intimate.

4. Make a pact to remain friends if the relationship fizzles out. Since you were close before you decided to take your relationship to the next level, it makes sense to stay close after. It will be difficult but worth it, especially if you both care deeply about one another.

If You Don't Feel The Same Way

1. Admit you don't feel the same way immediately. Telling your friend you aren't sure how you feel or leading her on will only serve to hurt you both in the end. Honesty truly is the best policy in this situation.

2. Spend a few days or weeks apart to give the feelings a chance to calm down. Being apart can help your friend sort out her feelings. It will give her a chance to think about things and how much she values your friendship, despite her more intense feelings at the moment.

3. Hang out with groups of people or friends for a period of time, at least until the feelings your friend has for you have subsided or lessened. Spending time alone will likely increase the way your friend feels or add more confusion.

4. Keep all conversations platonic and neutral. Discuss topics such as mutual friends, the weather, work or pets. Keep the conversation away from topics such as who you are dating or romance in general to avoid hurting your friend's feelings.

5. Make all attempts to stay friends with one another. Remember why you became friends and try to help your friend put aside her feelings for you by being supportive of how she feels but not feeding into her feelings. Remind her of how you feel if she tries to push the relationship issue, but also reiterate how important her friendship is to you.

Resources

• Art of Seduction