How to Help Inconsistency in Children

Encouraging your child's independence helps consistency.

Children are constantly learning and developing, making their behavior less than consistent over time. Asking your child to perform what was once a simple task could lead to temper tantrums, while a normally polite child may suddenly begin acting rude. Inconsistency is a natural part of childhood and will naturally subside over time, but you can help manage these behaviors and encourage consistency in your children by monitoring the way you prepare for and react to these situations. Understanding and predicting inconsistency is your strongest strategy for success.

Instructions

1. Set behavior rules before entering a new situation. For example, if you are heading out to dinner, tell your child what you expect of them at the dinner table. When kids know what they are supposed to be doing, they have an easier time monitoring their own behavior.

2. Help your child learn about consequences by following through on punishments and rewards. If you tell your child he will earn a treat for completing his homework, be consistent in delivering on what you promise. If being rude to a parent results in a timeout, enforce the timeout despite your child's protests and wait for him to calm down.

3. Praise your child when he accomplishes a difficult task and allow him to make minor decisions about his day. These actions help your child develop his self-esteem, and strong self-esteem helps children act more consistently as individuals due to their faith in their own abilities.

4. Work with the other members of your family to ensure your child receives the same treatment from everyone. If, for example, mom and dad are enforcing different rules in different ways, you cannot expect consistent behavior from the child until the parents are consistent themselves.

5. Give your child breaks when he is dealing with a difficult task. Inconsistent behavior can flare up as a result of boredom or frustration; giving your child a chance to relax reduces the likelihood of these outbursts.

6. Set a schedule for your child that involves school, playtime, chores and homework. If your child knows what to expect each day, he will find it easier to be in the right place at the right time, working on the right task.

References

• Center for Development and Learning: 15 Strategies for Managing Attention Problems
• Kids Health: Nine Steps to More Effective Parenting
• Kids Health: Teaching Your Children Self-Control