How to Get Your Point Across to a Verbally Abusive Husband

Picturing a calm atmosphere will help you stay relaxed and less emotionally affected.

Verbally abusive people are notoriously difficult to effectively deal with, as they will often shout down or ignore most conflicting comments they receive. Although occasional arguments are common with a marriage, routine verbal abuse reflects a serious issue and may not be tolerated for extended periods of time. Yet if there is an occasion where you absolutely must make a point to your verbally abusive husband, muster courage and resolution to get your message across.

Instructions

1. Don't allow yourself to feel guilty. Verbally abusive people will often attempt to control or manipulate other people by making them feel ashamed or like they're to blame. In order to effectively communicate, attempt to fully disregard these emotions.

2. Understand that your husband is acting irrationally and inappropriately. This can assist you in remaining calm, and will prevent you from lowering yourself to his level.

3. Maintain eye contact. According to the University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire Counseling Services, this makes you appear to be less submissive and more assertive within your communication.

4. Don't slouch or hold your body away from your husband. Keep your back straight and your body firmly positioned. This body language will further enforce the notion that you're standing up for yourself.

5. Speak firmly but calmly. Yelling or using insults is likely to make the situation grow increasingly chaotic. Demonstrate to your husband that a raised voice isn't effective for proper communication.

6. Maintain your safety. If you sense that you're in physical danger or feel emotionally overwhelmed, remove yourself from the situation immediately.

References

• University of Louisville; The Counseling Center; General Guidelines for Responding to Verbal Abuse
• University of Wisconsin-Eau Claire; Counseling Services; Assertive Communication --- An Introduction; P.J. Kennedy