How to Instill Southern Manners in Your Kids

A child shows his respect for others through etiquette.

Instilling manners in your children teaches them to show respect and consideration for others. This is especially true In the South where parents believe respect for others, particular elders, is part of a proud regional tradition of hospitality and honor. To pass on this tradition to your children, it is important to be consistent with your training and demonstrate these manners when you interact with your children and other people.

Instructions

1. Make respectful communication a habit for your children. Remind them to refer to adults as "sir" or "ma'am," and stress the importance of always saying, "please," "thank you," and "pardon me."

2. Encourage your children to show consideration for others with a proper greeting. They should always stand when an adult enters the room and shake hands with a firm, confident grip. A young man should tip his hat to a lady, and always remove his hat when entering a room.

3. Teach your children to be gracious when they engage in social interactions. If invited to an event, they should thank the host. When visiting others they should offer to help with tasks, such as clearing a table and always pick up after themselves. Thank you notes should be promptly sent after special occasions.

4. Help your children to understand proper courtesy at the dinner table. This includes sitting up straight with a napkin in their laps, not speaking with a mouth full of food and keeping their elbows off the table. Teach them that it is rude to reach for food and that they should always politely ask that it be passed to them. Instruct them not to eat until everyone at their table has been served. Once the meal is over children should ask to be excused from the table.

5. Instill in your sons a sense of chivalry in how they treat woman. This means standing for a lady when she comes to the table and helping her with her seat, and then rising for her when she stands. Young men should should be taught to open doors for a lady and walk on the street-side of the sidewalk when escorting her down the street.

6. Emphasize the importance of honor and integrity. Self-respect translates to respect for others. An oath should always be honored. Never condone off-color language in polite conversation, especially in mixed company. Teach your children to remove their hats before such things as church or in honor of the American flag.

7. Let them know the importance of simply being nice. Southerners pride themselves on their hospitality. Teach your children not to interrupt when someone else is speaking, and to always make others feel welcome. If they see someone is sitting alone, encourage your children to initiate a conversation. Stress that it is important that they smile warmly to acknowledge others.

Tips & Warnings

• Establish a system of rewards and consequences. Buy a piggy bank and impose a "swine fine" when rules are not honored. Allow your children to earn the money back with positive behavior.

• Always teach by example. If your children see you interact with others in a respectfully and courteous manner, they will learn to do likewise.

References

• Crosswalk: Summer: The Perfect Time to Teach Manners, Flag Etiquette
• Southern History: Manners Table of Contents
• Southern Style: Manners and Etiquette