How to Have a Successful Marriage After 40

Couples over 40 can draw on past relationships to help sustain their marriage.

As with all relationships, a marriage is dependent upon the efforts of both partners working toward the same goals. Couples who marry after the age of 40 tend to know who they are and what they want, but they may also be too set in their ways, which can cause conflict. To help create the framework for a successful marriage, older couples must be willing to compromise and adjust their needs to accommodate the other person.

Instructions

1. Recognize that your spouse is not perfect. As a member of a couple that is older, you know that no matter how much in love you are, there is always something about your partner that bothers you. Learn how to live with those imperfections and celebrate the many other qualities that you love and respect in your spouse.

2. Talk through problems. Some younger couples may lack communication skills, which means when a crisis hits in their marriage, they withdraw instead of talking to each other. Communicate with your spouse throughout the good times and the bad times, which helps establish a trust and rapport that can sustain your marriage.

3. Spend time together. Though you may both be busy working and taking care of children, you must take one day a week to spend time alone without interruption. This quiet time gives you the chance to reflect on your week, talk, and just renew your physical and emotional intimacy.

4. Give a little more than you receive. This does not mean you should make all the efforts in the marriage, but it's likely you might have been more selfish when you were younger than you are now. That experience gives you the opportunity to be more selfless in your marriage and less obstinate about getting your way in everything.

5. Allow yourself to feel unhappy sometimes. As someone over the age of 40, you probably understand that happiness can be fleeting. Apply that same thought to your marriage by acknowledging that there will be times when you won't feel overly joyous about your marriage for a number of different reasons. But by learning to accept those feelings and being willing to work through rough times, you can lay the foundation for a strong and lasting union.

References

• CBSNews.com; Marriage After 40? Not Impossible!; Daniel Schorn; February 11, 2009
• Focus on the Family; Ten Secrets to a Successful Marriage; Mitch Temple; 2009
• MSNBC.com; 7 Secrets to a Long - and Happy Marriage; Matthew Boggs and Jason Miller; June 5, 2007

Resources

• The University of Virginia Magazine; The National Marriage Project...; Ben Treanor; April, 20, 2010