How to Get Better at Expressing Emotions

Learn to express emotions for growth.

Emotions are sometimes uncontrollable and mysterious. People tend to hide personal emotions out of fear or shame; however, hiding emotions only makes them increase. It takes courage and some skill to effectively express emotions for a positive outcome. Whether the situation is a romantic relationship, a friendship or a family issue, expressing emotions allows you to grow as a person and feel empowered.

Instructions

1. Listen to the speaker to grasp the emotions being expressed. Listening requires full attention and eye contact. To form a proper emotional response, a listener must be fully engaged. Do not interrupt the speaker's flow of thinking. Proper listening also requires reading body language signals from the speaker. Hand movements, eye movement and shuffling of feet can be clues to the speaker's feelings.

2. Write thoughts in a journal. Journals are personal and private platforms for expressing thoughts. A journal does not require chronological thoughts. Events and entries can be scattered and appear in any order. This allows free flow of thoughts without censorship. Do not stop to check spelling or grammar when writing in a journal.

3. Identify the feelings expressed in the journal. Once the journal entries are written, go back and create an analysis. Some feelings and thoughts may be hidden among words. Identify what feelings prompted the journal entry. Make a list of feelings that come to mind when reading the journal entries. These may be clues to the underlying issues.

4. Talk about the feelings with someone. Find a trusted friend or loved one to share the list of feelings with. It takes courage to share private feelings, but it is the only way to overcome them. Being courageous enough to talk to someone about private feelings helps puts them in perspective. This process also helps to eliminate shame or guilt.

5. Reflect on what has been learned in the process. Look at the initial journal entries, the analysis of feelings and the conversation with a friend. Find relationships among events in life that have led to certain feelings. These interpretations create full circle connections of emotions. Reflect to build understanding and become stronger at expressing emotions in the future.

References

• Consistent Parenting Advice: How to Express Emotions Through Talking
• University of Illinois: Experiencing and Expressing Emotions
• At Health: Expressing Your Feelings in Relationships