How to Deal With Angry Arrogant Siblings
Conflict among siblings can create family difficulties and discord. Some siblings describe their relationships as distant or conflicted. They don't communicate or agree, have little in common and spend minimal time together. Many people look for ways to avoid these painful interactions at all costs. Angry, arrogant siblings challenge everything within you, especially when you need to interact with them. Several steps will help you address these difficult relationships.
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Instructions
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Listen for verbal reasons and look for nonverbal cues to discover the root of the issue. This could be a variety of reasons, such as insecurity, jealousy, a need to feel superior in a certain area, attention-seeking behavior, a lack of social skills or a self-centered attitude. He may have an "entitled" perception and feels that he deserves to act this way. Often, the root of anger and arrogance is based in rejection and a need for acceptance.
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Point out specific examples of your sibling's behavior. This will give him a context in which to examine his actions. He might be unaware of his anger or arrogance. Say something like, "I'm sure you did not mean to, but you interrupted me again." Express yourself kindly and keep the tone of your voice non-threatening.
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Give specific examples of the reactions of others. Ask your sibling how he would feel if he would treated the way he treats other. Point out the nonverbal reactions of others in their body language, such as rolling eyes or changing the subject.
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Respond with calm words and kindness. If you fuel his anger, you will aggravate the situation. You can speak your mind but don't let emotions overwhelm you.
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Give time for a cool down if needed. You might need to back off from the conversation and continue it at another time. Say something like, "I can tell you are upset. Take some time to regroup and we can talk more soon."
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Speak up and suggest alternative actions to address destructive behavior. You can't ignore your sibling who lets loose a barrage of hurtful words or swearing, who destroys things or who wants to injure you or others. Call outside help if needed.
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Express your feelings using "I" messages. This will let him know how you feel. Tell him, "I feel (name emotions) when you (name actions) because (name reasons)." A more specific example is, "I feel hurt and frustrated when you yell and rage because I don't deserve to be in the middle of that negative behavior."
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Tips & Warnings
Know the limits on what you can handle. Too much arrogance and especially anger can signify serious emotional issues. Overreacting, revenge, violence and withdrawal might be signs that a professional needs to intervene.
References
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