How to Help Children With Nervousness

You can help your child understand and cope with her anxiety.

Throughout childhood, youngsters inevitably encounter situations and events that make them feel nervous. Whether it be a test, school play, recital or social situation, you can help your child to understand and cope with his anxiety. It is important to remember that children are less experienced with emotions, and often require adult guidance and reassurance. While some nervousness is normal, you should speak to your pediatrician if your child's anxiety seems abnormally pervasive or interferes with his daily life.

Instructions

1. Give your child an emotional vocabulary that enables her to express her nervousness. If you notice that your child seems nervous, say something like "You seem nervous. I can tell because you are biting finger nails and your shoulders are tense."

2. Listen when your child tells you that he is nervous. Ask him what makes him believe he is nervous. This will force him to pay attention to his physiological reactions and learn to more accurately identify his feelings. In some instances, he may mistakenly believe he is nervous when he is actually feeling something else. You can help him correctly identify when he feels nervous.

3. Invite your child to express her fears. Simply ask, "What is making you nervous?" Allow your child to explain why she is nervous without interrupting.

4. Validate your child's feelings. For example, you could say, "Performing is scary. I understand why you are nervous."

5. Reassure your child that you will be proud of him no matter what happens.

6. Emphasize your child's strengths to ease their nerves. For example, if she is nervous about going to her first day of school, you could say, "I know you are nervous, but I'm sure you'll do great! You are smart and friendly. Your teacher and classmates are really going to like you."

7. Help your child to relax by instructing him to breathe deeply, flop his limbs or close his eyes and imagine himself being successful at whatever he is doing.

8. Avoid allowing your child to dwell on her anxiety. Don't let her explain her fears more than once. If she continues to talk about the things that scare her, do your best to distract her by changing the subject.

Tips & Warnings

• High levels of nervousness may be indicative of an anxiety disorder. Speak to your pediatrician if you believe your child may be having emotional issues.

References

• Kid's Health: Anxiety Disorders
• Health Guidance: The Nervous Child; Roger Dennett
• Kid's Health: Anxieties, Fears and Phobias
• Indiana University: Tips For Dealing With Nervousness; Julie Parmenter
• Fredricksburg Parent & Family: Identifying Emotions; 2009; Elaine Stone