How to Learn Respect

Act in a respectful manner to teach respect to your children.

It takes more than being nice or commanding a child to gain respect. Whether you are a parent, teacher or other adult teaching respect to children or you are trying to learn it yourself, you must realize that respect is earned. If you are teaching someone else how to become respectful, make a connection with that person early in the relationship so that he knows what you expect and learns from you. As you learn to respect others, you will also grow to respect yourself.

Instructions

1. Identify what respect is, what it entails and how it can be applied. Look up the definition of the word "respect" and find synonyms for it. Find words that mean the opposite of "respect." Identify any areas in your life where you have shown respect and disrespect in the last week. Participate in discussions about respect and identify what others are looking for in regard to respect.

2. Create a list of respectful people in your life and how they show respect to others. Surround yourself with respectful people. Surround your children or your students with people who are respectful. Individuals tend to follow the behaviors of those they are around the most.

3. Set an example for others. Treat your children, employees and other adults with respect in order to get respect in return. Do not yell or hit, because this is disrespectful and will teach exactly what you do not want. Do not curse, yell, gossip or use sarcasm around those you want to gain respect from -- especially children, because they will mimic this behavior.

4. Learn about honor and teach honor to those you want to gain respect from. Honorable people exhibit characteristics of obedience and respect. You can get a child or employee to follow your instructions out of fear; but fear is not respect, and it only works for a short time. Respect is inherent in honor; therefore, when a person becomes honorable, they are respectful.

5. Trust people in authority and instill trust in your children and other individuals. Treat others in a way that will gain their trust if you are in a position of authority. You show your trust in others by treating them with respect also.

6. Learn about individuals you want to respect or whom you must respect because of a job, marriage or other circumstance. Identify their abilities and skills; find out where their strengths can complement your weaknesses. Share your strengths and weaknesses openly to create respectful relationships.

7. Give a compliment to someone every week. Write down who you gave the compliment to and what that compliment was.

8. Write down ways you can show respect to others, including parents, teachers, children or co-workers. Identify phrases that are respectful, such as "thank you."

9. Be honest. If you are having a bad day, admit it and ask for what you need. If you need more space, ask for it. Do it respectfully and gently as you keep others feelings in consideration. Do not put burdens on others, however. Stay positive, especially with children, and give them a time when you will be better able to interact with them or let them know what it will take to make you feel better, such as a few minutes of relaxation.

10. Expect respect in return, especially if you are teaching it. Set goals and expectations clearly for children. Identify ways that your children, friends or employees are showing respect and praise them for it. Discuss areas of disrespect and give examples of what respectful behavior looks like. Don't let disrespectful behavior slide, and reward respectful behavior.

References

• Dr. Robyn Silverman; 10 Tips on Teaching Respect to Children; April 2008
• University of Arkansas: Family Life
• Worcester Polytechnic Institute; How Can We Learn to Tolerate and Respect Other People; Carlos Zapata
• AskDrSears.com: Top Ten Discipline Principles
• Marriage Preparation Online; Respect in a Relationship; Ralph Griggs, M.Th.
• Dr. Michele Borba: 35 Activities Your Students Can Do to Learn Respect