How to Let Go of a Bad Friendship
"Everything ends badly, or it wouldn't end," Koglan the Bartender said wisely in the 1988 Tom Cruise vehicle, "Cocktail." The end of a friendship can be a painful event for both parties. If you are faced with this necessity, and you are wondering how to keep the drama and emotional pain to a minimum, you can do this in a way that grieves your losses while creating the distance you need to move on.
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Instructions
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Compose your thoughts in a letter or email. It is probably best to avoid meeting in person, especially because initiating a meeting on your part sends the wrong message. Be as brief as possible in your message. Your tone should be assertive, but not accusatory. Refrain from a long list of grievances unless you are willing to get a message back rebutting your charges.
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Settle all outstanding accounts between the two of you. Avoid being drawn into a negotiating session by being generous about debts, if your friend can't or won't pay you back. Work out a time when you can return each other's things. Cancel all future plans. Send your friend back any gifts or letters she has given you, if this seems like the best way for you to be free of them.
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End all contact. Don't respond to your ex-friend's attempts at re-establishing communication, even if he resorts to threats or manipulation. If he threatens to harm himself, call 911 rather than trying to intervene yourself.
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Change your habits to create separation. Avoid places where you could run into your ex-friend. Start a new routine to help put the friendship behind you. Make small but substantial changes, focusing on new friendships and opportunities.
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References
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