How to Deal With an Argumentative Boss

Learn to remain calm and remove yourself from an argument.

If you have an argumentative boss, you know how frustrating and distressing it can be to work for a manager who constantly quarrels, interrupts and doesn't listen. However, while her behavior may feel unbearable at times, don't give up in despair. Instead, try to manage the situation by changing how you interact with your boss.

Instructions

1. Stay calm. No matter what your boss says, don't react. Instead, take a deep breath and project a calm exterior, even if you feel like expressing frustration.

2. Don't reciprocate. As tempting as it may be, don't argue with an argumentative boss. This will only provoke his disagreeable behavior.

3. Pay attention. Take notice of when your boss is argumentative. For example, maybe he is most combative after a meeting with his boss or at the end of a long day. If you can identify hot buttons, you can provide your boss time to cool down before you approach him and possibly minimize argumentative scenarios.

4. Be empathetic. A boss may be so overwhelmed by the pressures of her job that she may not realize the extent of her behavior or how it impacts others. Putting yourself in her shoes may help you to stay calmer and react less.

5. Remove yourself from an argument. While you usually can't walk out of a formal meeting, you can extract yourself from less formal interactions. For example, professionally excuse yourself from an argumentative situation by politely saying you need to work on a pressing project or because you have an important call to make. Make sure that your excuses are legitimate.

6. Don't be afraid to tell your boss how you feel. To make change, it's important to communicate how the argumentative behavior affects you. For example, schedule a meeting with your boss and professionally communicate how recent interactions made you feel. Make sure to plan what you want to discuss before the meeting as well as speak concisely and use a matter-of-fact tone.

7. Reward your boss for good behavior. While this is the last thing you probably feel like doing, let your boss know when she has behaved in a way you like. For example, thank her when she takes the time to explain her reasons as oppose to argue her reasons.

8. Set limits. If you've told your boss how his argumentative behavior affects you and there is no change, don't be afraid to set boundaries in the heat of the moment. For example, professionally let your boss know if an interaction is becoming argumentative and how that makes you feel.

9. Know when to walk away. If, after taking steps to improve the situation, your boss is still argumentative and the behavior is unbearable, make a plan to leave. While your job is important, so is your mental health.

Tips & Warnings

• Always be professional, even when you're dealing with a boss is not.

• There is a difference between argumentative and abusive. If you believe your boss is abusive, make sure to document your interaction and seek professional counsel.

References

• "Taming the Abrasive Manager: How to End Unnecessary Roughness in the Workplace"; Laura Crawshaw; 2007
• "A Survival Guide for Working with Bad Bosses: Dealing with Bullies, Idiots, Back-Stabbers, and Other Managers from Hell"; Gini Graham Scott; 2006
• "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant: How to Manage Childish Boss Behavior and Thrive in Your Job"; Lynn Taylor; 2009