How to Improve the Way I Talk to My Boyfriend

An urge to be agreeable can prevent you from communicating honestly.

Although you may be very fond of your boyfriend, it's possible that your conversations feel stilted and difficult, causing your relationship to suffer as a consequence. While nothing makes up for natural chemistry and compatibility, there are a number of ways to improve the quality of conversation with your boyfriend; this can help make your communication more direct and engaging, subsequently improving the intimacy of your relationship.

Instructions

1. Express yourself honestly. Don't attempt to consistently hide your feelings or only hint about what you really feel. To nurture better communication, you need to start with the basics: say what's on your mind, and don't be shy about giving your opinion when it's relevant. This will send the message that your boyfriend doesn't need to "second-guess" whether you really mean what you say.

2. Practice active listening. When your boyfriend speaks to you, consciously focus your attention on what he's saying; avoid simply waiting for your turn to speak. Ask relevant questions, which demonstrates you're absorbing what he's told you, and make an effort to remember the information he tells you. This can create a feeling of respect and trust between you two, enabling him to feel more confident about speaking freely.

3. Use body language effectively. When speaking to your boyfriend, provide him with consistent eye-contact and open body language. It's important to show that he has your attention, and you aren't speaking absent-mindedly.

4. Approach problems with flexibility. Practice suggesting compromises, and always listen to your boyfriend's point of view carefully during a disagreement.

5. Allow yourself to show emotion. Emotion is natural and simply demonstrates your inner feelings about a subject. If you regularly avoid showing emotion, it may make you feel repressed or agitated.

6. Take enthusiasm in his interests. Although you might not enjoy the same things, he should be touched that you took the time to discover other parts of his life. If this goes well, you may discover an interest or hobby you both enjoy doing together, helping to enrich your conversation further.

References

• University of Nebraska: Our Relationship.... And Communicating Effectively