How to Be at Peace With Losing Your Adult Children

Losing an adult child is like losing a part of yourself.

Parents assume they will die before their children do. But in the devastating instances to the contrary, you must find a way to mourn the loss and continue with your life. Because making peace with this is extremely challenging, be patient with yourself and seek the support of loving family and friends.

Instructions

1. 

   Take care of your health.

   Take care of your health. Although you're inclined to forget all about yourself when grieving a lost child, go to bed at a reasonable hour, take your prescribed medications, eat nutritiously and exercise. Take walks to get outside and move your legs. Allow friends to bring dinner by if they offer. Your emotional strength is greater if your physical needs are met.

2. 

   Open up to your family and friends.

   Express your feelings to those you trust. Other family members and friends may be experiencing similar feelings, and spending time together can help all. Share memories about your child, and don't be afraid of emotions that surface as you talk about your feelings.

3. 

   Donate a park bench as a remembrance of your child.

   Create a remembrance of your child. Gather favorite photos in one place and put them in a special album or enlarge some of the photos and frame them. For a more public tribute to your child, work with a park or foundation and donate a tree or park bench in honor of your child. Some parents create scholarships for children with similar interests to those of the adult child who has been lost.

4. 

   Keep a journal.

   Work through your thoughts on paper. If you don't have a journal, start one. Writing your thoughts can be very helpful in working through difficult situations. Writing helps you feel more in control and reflect on the progress you make as you make peace with your child's death.

5. 

   Look to clergy for help and guidance.

   Look to your spiritual beliefs for comfort. People often turn to clergy when mourning the loss of a loved one. If you don't feel comfortable speaking with someone yet, revisit your spiritual beliefs about the afterlife and read about your beliefs in scripture and other books. Seek comfort through prayer and meditation.

6. 

   Make new friends at a support group.

   Join a support group for people who have lost their adult children. Support groups are often led by trained counselors who can help you work through specific issues. You'll also make friends with other members of the group who are going through the same grieving process.

Tips & Warnings

• Don't overcompensate by denying all sad feelings. This can be dangerous for you mentally and physically, and can be insensitive to other family members.

References

• Cancer Care: Grieving the Loss of an Adult Child
• Hospice Foundation of America: When an Adult Child Dies; Miriam Moss
• @Health: The Death of a Child